


Avengers Chatroom!

by Musiclover712



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-05
Updated: 2015-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-16 09:53:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3483863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Musiclover712/pseuds/Musiclover712
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Avengers log into Shamchat and randomness happens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tony Stark and Steve Rogers

**Author's Note:**

> All the credit goes to Marvel because I don't own any of these characters. Although, I wish I did.  
> http://www.shamchat.com/

**Tony Stark** : 'Sup Cap?  
Steve rogers: Hello, Stark  
**Tony Stark** : How's Peggy? Oh, wait.  
Steve rogers: She is okay. She is having more bad days than goods days, and she is sleeping more.  
**Tony Stark** : Whoops. Dont worry 'bout it cap. Everyone loves a seventy year old popsicle.  
Steve rogers: Really, Stark!!!  
Steve rogers: Well everyone loves a snarky jerk.  
**Tony Stark:** Geez, sorry Steve. Don't get your red-white-and-blue panties in a bunch.  
Steve rogers: Just like your old man.  
**Tony Stark** : Hey, no one bashes my old man but me, old man.  
Steve rogers: He was my friend first before he was your father.  
**Tony Stark** : Yeah, well you see how that worked out?  
Steve rogers: Besides I'm not the only seventy year old popsicle around here.  
Steve rogers: It worked out fine.  
**Tony Stark** : Yeah. Mkay. Seriously, you could be my grandfather.  
Steve rogers: More like your father. I wasn't older than your father at the time.  
**Tony Stark** : Yeah okay. This is my amount of care- whoops, I have none.  
Steve rogers: Yeah, you only care about yourself and alcohol.  
**Tony Stark** : Hey. Jarvis is good too. And my suits.  
Steve rogers: Are you and Pepper still dating?  
**Tony Stark** : Oh. Her too.  
Steve rogers: I'm going to tell her about how you almost said you didn't care about her.  
Steve rogers: "Smiles mischievously."  
**Tony Stark** : No no! *says panicked*  
Steve rogers: Why, it's not like you love her. After all, you said you only care about your self, alcohol, your suits, and Jarvis.  
**Tony Stark** : No, I.. *pauses, now serious* I'd trade it for Pepper if I had to.  
Steve rogers: Wow, you would. Maybe Tony has a heart after all.  
**Tony Stark** : *rolls eyes* Yeah, whatever. I'm not mushy.  
Steve rogers: Oh, come on Stark. It's okay to admit that your a sap. I promise not to tell Natasha. "Secretly crosses fingers."  
**Tony Stark** : *scoffs* Yeah.. yeah fine. I guess I can be considered.. partly sentimental.  
Steve rogers: Come on don't be afraid to show it. I bet Pepper would love you for it. "Winks"  
**Tony Stark** : *raises an eye brow* Then call me a teddy bear and give me a bow.  
Steve rogers: Didn't you give her a teddy bear as bigs as a house last christmas?  
**Tony Stark** : Not a house.... maybe a car.  
Steve rogers: Still, that shows how much of a sap you really are. Or that you're crazy.  
**Tony Stark** : Maybe a bit of both Cap. *pauses* Remember, you swore. Not to tell Clint, Banner, Meat-Swing or Nash.  
Steve rogers: Can I see the signed contract swearing that I made that promise. "Smiles evilely."  
**Tony Stark** : Steve... don't even think about it...  
Steve rogers: "Walking over to Natasha and whispers in her ear."  
**Tony Stark** : *eyes widen* Steve. Steve no. you didn't. *Thor, Banner, and Clint are called over and told the news by Natasha.*  
Steve rogers: Ha ha ha ha. Bucky is not going to  believe how much of sap Tony Stark is.  
**Tony Stark** : Steve.... you did not.... *eyes wide*  
Steve rogers: I haven't yet, but I'm about to go to his room. Plus Sam will love to know.  
**Tony Stark** : Holy crap Steve. *walks up* I'm going to murder you.  
Steve rogers: Stark, you forgot I got a metal armed assassin "mother hen."  
**Tony Stark** : You forget I have at least forty new suits that can operate themselves that I've been dying to try out.  
Steve rogers: I have a Hulk.  
**Steve rogers** : And Quake.  
**Tony Stark** : Well... *grows silent while thinking*  
Steve rogers: "Logs onto Twitter and posts #Starkissuchasap."  
**Tony Stark** : OH MY GOSH CAP  
Steve rogers: And my payback is almost done.  
**Tony Stark** : THERES MORE?!  
Steve rogers: Yep, but it will happen when you at least expect it.  
**Tony Stark** : Wait, pay back for what?!  
Steve rogers: For being a jerk to everybody and calling them stupid nicknames.  
Steve rogers: And also for Ultron.  
**Tony Stark** : Oh cap-sicle, toke take things so hard.  
**Tony Stark** : /*dont take  
Steve rogers: Yeah, Clint doesn't like the name Legolas. He is offended that you would mention his name with that "Elf archer who couldn't even shine his shoes."  
Steve rogers: Bucky doesn't like you calling him Robocop either. His arm is the only thing that is metal.  
Steve rogers: He also told me to pass along that if you ever call him that again, that the hole in your chest will not be the only hole you will find when you wake up in the morning.  
Steve rogers: Plus you built an AI that tried to kill billions of people and destroy the world.  
**Tony Stark** : It wasn't on purpose..  
**Tony Stark** : And those names are names of.... friend...ship..?  
Steve rogers: Yeah, well come up with new ones.  
Steve rogers: Anyway how is building Bucky's new arm going?  
**Tony Stark** : Oh yeah! Pretty good actually. Already finished with beta testing, just busy making it adaptable.  
Steve rogers: Cool. I know he is really excited. His old arm reminds him to much of who he was?  
**Tony Stark:** I guess, whatever though. He can test it whenever he decides to show up.  
Steve rogers: I'll tell him to come over.  
Steve rogers: Sam is also ready to try out his new wings.  
**Tony Stark** : Check and check.  
**Tony Stark** : TONY STARK IS A NOT TEDDY BEAR

_Stark has left the conversation_

_Steve Rogers has left the conversation_

 


	2. Tony Stark and Steve Rogers Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Steve have a chat about Bucky, Ultron, and Aliens. Tony tries to convince Steve that Loki had tea with his father, Howard.

Tony Stark: Yo, Steve.

Steve rogers: Hello, Stark.

Tony Stark: What brings you down here today?

Steve rogers: To see if you will help me find Bucky.

Tony Stark: I have been researching those files ironically.

Steve rogers: Find anything interesting?

Tony Stark: He was at the Smithsonian earlier.

Tony Stark: And he killed my parents.

Steve rogers: I’m sorry he killed your parents, but he wasn’t himself.

Steve rogers: Really, what did he look like? Did he look confused, angry, in pain ….

Tony Stark: At ease actually.. very calm for the most part he was looking into our past.

Steve rogers: You mean his and my past?

Steve rogers: That’s good.

Tony Stark: *he nodded gently* And a tiny bit of mine i guess. I printed it all out cause i know you like reading so much.

Steve rogers: Thank you, Stark. That is surprisingly nice of you.

Tony Stark: We are friends aren’t we? And I’m trying to make up for the whole Ultron thing.

Steve rogers: Yeah, I guess we are. Ultron wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know he would turn against us.

Tony Stark: I should have though *he sighed softly*

Steve rogers: You might be genius Stark, but you don’t know everything.

Tony Stark: I should have listened to my Dad when he said DO NOT TURN ON ULTRON.

Steve rogers: When did Howard every say that? I thought you found the Ultron program among those aliens….. what were their names again…. files.

Tony Stark: I did but my Dad looked into it before me.

Steve rogers: How is that even possible. Howard died before the battle of New York.

Tony Stark: Yeah doesn’t mean aliens didn’t attack before that Steve.

Steve rogers: Really? Steve rogers: When? Tony Stark: 50 60s 70s… area Fifty One Steve

Steve rogers: Those are just conspiracies Stark. They have not been proven.

Tony Stark: Oh, but they have.

Tony Stark: My father is very good at hiding them.

Steve rogers: Yeah, right Stark. I’m not going to fall for that.

Tony Stark: JARVIS: Shall I pull up the video of your Father and Loki, Sir?

Tony Stark: Would you wanna see that Steve

Steve rogers: Sure, Stark. Show me footage that doesn’t exist. “Rolling his eyes.”

Tony Stark: JARVIS: *he pulled up video of Howard and Loki enjoying tea together and doing shots as well as talking about Asgardian technology*

Tony Stark: “See?!”

Steve Rogers: Fake!!

_Tony Stark has left the conversation_

_Steve Rogers has left the conversation_


	3. Steve and Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Loki talk about Loki's guilt. Loki has a heart, who knew.

  
Pudgy!Loki Laufeyson: Hello, Steve

 

  
steve rogers: Hello, Loki.

 

  
Pudgy!Loki Laufeyson: How are you?

 

  
steve rogers: I'm great. How about you?

 

  
Pudgy!Loki Laufeyson: I'm very good

 

  
steve rogers: Hopefully not trying to destroy earth?

 

  
Pudgy!Loki Laufeyson: I don't think i'll do that again..

 

  
steve rogers: Good. Otherwise we will come for you.

 

  
Pudgy!Loki Laufeyson: Ooh

 

  
Pudgy!Loki Laufeyson: * he groaned a bit *

 

  
steve rogers: So have you finally made up with Thor?

 

  
Pudgy!Loki Laufeyson: Ehh

 

  
Pudgy!Loki Laufeyson: More or Less.

 

  
steve rogers: Good, but aren't you suppose to be dead though?

 

  
Pudgy!Loki Laufeyson: Or Am I? *waggles brows*

 

  
steve rogers: Really, did you trick Thor again?

 

  
Pudgy!Loki Laufeyson: Yes i did

 

  
steve rogers: "In a commanding tone." You march up to Thor right now and tell him the truth, and then get on your knees and beg for forgiveness.

 

  
Pudgy!Loki Laufeyson: Why should I?

 

  
steve rogers: Because you are brothers and because he misses you.

 

  
Pudgy!Loki Laufeyson: He..misses me?

 

  
steve rogers: Yes, he is mopping around the tower and talking about the fun you both had as kids.

 

  
Pudgy!Loki Laufeyson: I feel something..

 

  
Pudgy!Loki Laufeyson: I feel..

 

  
Pudgy!Loki Laufeyson: Guilt.

 

  
steve rogers: Loki can actually feel remorse. Who knew?

 

  
Pudgy!Loki Laufeyson: I don't like this feeling.

 

  
steve rogers: It means you actually have a heart that isn't three sizes too smal..

 

  
steve rogers: Or made of ice considering that you are a tiny frost giant.

 

  
Pudgy!Loki Laufeyson: I'm not tiny!

 

  
steve rogers: For a frost giant you are.

 

  
Pudgy!Loki Laufeyson: *Hmph!*

 

  
steve rogers: Isn't that why your parents hid you away.

 

  
Pudgy!Loki Laufeyson: * tears started to build up *

 

  
Pudgy!Loki Laufeyson: S-shut up!!

 

  
steve rogers: Oh come on Loki, you had a better life anyway. You grew up in Asgard with a great brother.

 

  
Pudgy!Loki Laufeyson: ... True..

 

  
Pudgy!Loki Laufeyson: * he had a begging dog position *

 

  
steve rogers: It's more like you were a begging dog.

 

  
Pudgy!Loki Laufeyson: * he crossed his arms *

 

  
Pudgy!Loki Laufeyson: * his belly looked more prominent now *

 

_steve rogers has left the conversation._

 

_Pudgy!Loki Laufeyson Pouts_


	4. Steve and Natasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Natasha talk about Steve's guilt in what happened to Bucky. Steve decides to let Natasha help him find Bucky.

  
Natasha Romanoff : Hello, Steve.

  
steve rogers: Hello, Nat

  
Natasha Romanoff : How are you?

  
steve rogers: I'm great. How about you?

  
Natasha Romanoff : I'm doing well, thank you Steve.

  
steve rogers: Thats good. So what have you've been doing since you left the cemetery?

  
Natasha Romanoff : I've been trying to fix the mess I made..how about you? Any luck on finding Bucky?

  
steve rogers: Unfortunately, I'm still trying to find him. You're right, he is a ghost.

  
Natasha Romanoff : I could always help, you know that right?

  
steve rogers: I know, but I can't risk you getting hurt.

  
steve rogers: Besides its my fault that Bucky ended up like this and I must be the one who saves him.

  
Natasha Romanoff : Steve, I am wanting to help okay? You don't need to worry about me getting hurt, I'm a big girl. *smiles* It's not your fault, do not think that.

  
steve rogers: But I didn't catch him. I let him fall.

  
Natasha Romanoff : You couldn't get him, Steve. He was too far away okay? You need to stop thinking it was your fault.

  
steve rogers: I should have looked for him atleast.

  
Natasha Romanoff : He was pronounced dead, wasn't he?

  
steve rogers: No. He was put down as MIA.

  
Natasha Romanoff : Oh, I did not know. But even if you went to find him, you wouldn't have found him, Steve.

  
steve rogers: Its just frustrating about what happened to Bucky. Every time I read the files you gave me, I want to punch something.

  
Natasha Romanoff : I'm always here if you need to vent, okay?

  
steve rogers: Thanks

  
Natasha Romanoff : It's no problem, Steve.

  
steve rogers: So how are you and Clint doing?

  
Natasha Romanoff : Oh gosh...everybody asks me that! *laughs* We are good, I guess. Nothing has changed.

  
steve rogers: So what do you think of this AI robot Tony has invented that is suppose to help us fight hydra.

  
Natasha Romanoff : Honestly, I hate it.

  
steve rogers: I know, I feel that it could turn into something bad.

  
Natasha Romanoff : Me too, I don't even understand why he built it in the first place. We are all capable of fighting them.

  
steve rogers: I know. Heck I fought hydra with a bunch of rowdy hooligans back during the war.

  
Natasha Romanoff : You've fought them twice.

  
steve rogers: Yeah, but this time around I'll be sure they don't grow another head.

  
Natasha Romanoff : That would be nice. * laughs softly*

  
steve rogers: Yeah.

  
Natasha Romanoff : Well, I best be off. Clint is probably wondering where I am...lovely seeing you Steve, and make sure you call me if you need me okay?

  
steve rogers: Ok, I will. Have fun fonduing with Clint.

  
Natasha Romanoff : ...sure will.

 

_Natasha Romanoff has left the conversation_

_Steve Rogers has left the conversation_


	5. Steve and Natasha Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Natasha talk about Clint marring Bobbi Morse. Steve tries to set Natasha up with Bucky and play matchmaker for Sam.

  
Steve Rogers: Hello, Nat

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: Steve!

  
Steve Rogers: How are you?

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: Honestly? Been better.

  
Steve Rogers: What's wrong besides you drinking too much vodka

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: Clint just got married, to the lovely Bobbi Morse.

  
Steve Rogers: Mockingbird?

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: Yes sir.

  
Steve Rogers: I'm sorry, I know how much you loved him?

  
Steve Rogers: Do you need a shoulder?

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: Um, I'll survive. I just need to take a deep breath.

  
Steve Rogers: Okay, but you know I'm always here for you?

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: I know Steve, thanks.

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: I think I just need to get back on the market. I don't really miss Clint, I just miss the feelings I got from being with someone I loved

  
Steve Rogers: Maybe you should ask Bucky to help you. He was always playing match maker with me back in the 30's.

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: Will do, thank you.

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: I mean, I guess you're just a good person to match people up. It's quite fun, I see why he does it.

  
Steve Rogers: By the way, I finally called that nurse.

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: And?

  
Steve Rogers: She is the great niece of my old flame. It's kinda weird seeing her, knowing I kissed her great aunt.

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: Um, yeah. I knew that.

  
Steve Rogers: Wait you knew that and you never told me.

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: Maybe...

  
Steve Rogers: You know, you don't have keep everything a secret. I know you are a spy, but geesh.

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: Well, I thought she'd want to tell you herself.

  
Steve Rogers: Well she didn't. I had to find out from her file.

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: She's really nice and I wanted you to go in with a clean slate.

  
Steve Rogers: Fair enough.

  
Steve Rogers: You know you could always date Bucky. I heard you guys had a thing back in red room.

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: *blinks* You'd be okay with that?

  
Steve Rogers: Yes.

  
Steve Rogers: As long as you and Bucky are happy, I'm happy.

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: Well thank, I'll look into it.

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: *thanks

  
Steve Rogers: You should, he is a great guy once you get the whole hydra brainwashed assassin

  
Steve Rogers: past

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: I know, I've dealt with it before. I was brainwashed too by the same people at one point. I just hope he remembers me.

  
Steve Rogers: I think he does.

  
Steve Rogers: Although he likes to call you Natalie

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: No Natalia, yes.

  
Steve Rogers: Yes

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: But close.

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: It really reminds me of the old days.

  
Steve Rogers: Where you really a ballerina?

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: That was my cover when I was smaller, but I was trained in ballet to seal my cover.

  
Steve Rogers: Do you know how to dance?

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: Yes.

  
Steve Rogers: Because Bucky really likes to take his girl dancing.

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: It comes in handy.

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: Ah, I would enjoy that. But we do different dancing now.

  
Steve Rogers: He probably still like it. He was more progressive than me back than, and he probably still is.

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: Can you put in a good word for me?

  
Steve Rogers: I will.

  
Steve Rogers: He probably beg you to forgive him though.

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: Thank you. And if there's anything I can do to pay you back let me know.

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: Beg me to forgive him for?

  
Steve Rogers: For shooting you.

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: Ah, no biggie. We cleared it up before we dated.

  
Steve Rogers: Good.

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: I wonder what it'd be like to date without KGB orders.

  
Steve Rogers: Well, it won't be as secretive. You can date freely now.

  
Steve Rogers: Without having to look over your shoulder

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: Hm, maybe we'll stay in less then.

  
Steve Rogers: Yeah

  
Steve Rogers: Maybe we can go on a double date sometime

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: I'd like that.

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: With Sharon, I'm assuming?

  
Steve Rogers: Yes, with Sharon

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: What did you think of her?

  
Steve Rogers: I like her. She is very nice.

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: That's it?

  
Steve Rogers: She is spunky, independent, intelligent, beautiful

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: There we go.

  
Steve Rogers: :)

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: *looks around* Um, is Bucky here now?

  
Steve Rogers: No, he is at the VA with Sam.

  
Steve Rogers: We need to get Sam a girl.

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: Hmm, let me thing.

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: *think

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: He and Wanda might be cute.

  
Steve Rogers: But isn't she dating Vision?

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: Oh crap, yeah.

  
tipsy!Natasha Romanoff: Hm, Maria maybe.

 

_tipsy!Natasha Romanoff has left the conversation._

_Steve Rogers has left the conversation._

 

 


	6. Bucky and Matt Murdock (Daredevil)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Matt Murdock talk about Matt's relationship with Natasha. Apparently Matt Murdock is an attorney

  
Bucky Barnes: Hello

  
Matt Murdock: Hello Mr Barnes

  
Bucky Barnes: How are you?

  
Matt Murdock: What can I say... I get by I suppose

  
Bucky Barnes: Me too.

  
Matt Murdock: That's good to hear, Natasha told it hasn't been a very nice period for you lately

  
Bucky Barnes: Yeah, nightmares are horrible.

  
Bucky Barnes: How do you know Natalia?

  
Matt Murdock: I know... You never get used at those, no matter what

  
Matt Murdock: Ehm... Well...

  
Matt Murdock: We were kind of dating

  
Bucky Barnes: And she hasn't kill you yet?

  
Matt Murdock: No, I don't think

  
Matt Murdock: maybe she should have but she didn't

  
Matt Murdock: for now at least

  
Bucky Barnes: Then you are a keeper. But if you hurt her, your dead.

  
Matt Murdock: You think?

  
Matt Murdock: I would never do anything to harm her, never!

  
Bucky Barnes: Good.

  
Bucky Barnes: Saved any bad guys lately?

  
Bucky Barnes: Good guys I mean

  
Matt Murdock: What do you mean 'Saved'?

  
Bucky Barnes: Killed any bad guys?

  
Matt Murdock: I... no!

  
Matt Murdock: I'm an attorney not some sort of killer mr Barnes!

  
Bucky Barnes: I thought you were daredevil

  
Matt Murdock: Oh God! I'm NOT Daredevil!

  
Matt Murdock: Daredevil isn't a killer either though!

  
Matt Murdock: I mean... He might have done some bad stuff in some occasions but... I suppose everyone makes mistakes no?

  
Bucky Barnes: Yeah, everybody makes mistakes including Stevie.

  
Matt Murdock: You mean Captain America? For Real?

  
Bucky Barnes: Yeah, he is my best friend.

  
Matt Murdock: Oh, right, I'm sorry, I didn't connected the two things

  
Matt Murdock: 'Friends' Uhm? *Smirks lightly*

 

_Bucky Barnes has left the conversation._

_Steve Rogers has left the conversation._


	7. Bucky and Natasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky tries to flirt with Natasha.

  
Bucky Barnes: Hi, beautiful

  
Natasha Romanoff: James.

  
Bucky Barnes: Natalie

  
Natasha Romanoff: *makes a face* Natal'ya. Your Russian is still awful.

  
Bucky Barnes: Maybe you can help me with it. "Wink Wink"

  
Natasha Romanoff: And how would you propose I help you?

  
Bucky Barnes: How about we go out sometime, and I'll tell you.

  
Natasha Romanoff: Nice try.

  
Bucky Barnes: Hey a guy can always try.

  
Bucky Barnes: I heard you kissed Steve?

  
Natasha Romanoff: A diversion. We were on the run from HYDRA agents.

  
Bucky Barnes: Still, I'm proud that Steve got some action without my help.

  
Bucky Barnes: He was always hopeless before.

  
Natasha Romanoff: I've been trying to find someone he can take out on a date.

  
Bucky Barnes: Find somebody who is independent, strong-willed, and whom can stick up for herself. Somebody like Peggy Carter, his old flame.

  
Natasha Romanoff: Sounds like his type. I mean, before he knew who Sharon Carter was, he asked her out.

  
Bucky Barnes: I heard.

  
Bucky Barnes: I'm proud of him. He can finally talk to a woman.

  
Bucky Barnes: Without my help

  
Natasha Romanoff: Well, he said I wasn't his first kiss since the 1940's.

  
Bucky Barnes: Oh, really. I wonder who he kissed?

  
Natasha Romanoff: I have no idea.

  
Bucky Barnes: We need to get to the bottom of this?

  
Natasha Romanoff: Or the bottom of a bottle of vodka.

  
Bucky Barnes: Aw, vodka the beer for Russians.

  
Natasha Romanoff: Water. Beer is beer. Vodka is water.

  
Bucky Barnes: Okay, Vodka, the water for Russians/

  
Natasha Romanoff: That's more like it.

  
Bucky Barnes: How is your journey in rediscovery yourself going?

  
Natasha Romanoff: I'm not rediscovering myself. I'm trying to find a new alias. I wouldn't want to rediscover myself.

  
Bucky Barnes: Come on, your not that bad?

  
Bucky Barnes: Wink wink

  
Natasha Romanoff: You don't know the things I've done.

  
Bucky Barnes: Can't be any worse than the things I have done?

  
Natasha Romanoff: They're close.

  
Bucky Barnes: Besides, I should know some of things you did. After all, I did train you?

  
Natasha Romanoff: ... I don't remember that.

  
Bucky Barnes: You don't remember red room?

  
Natasha Romanoff: Barely.

  
Bucky Barnes: You forgot that we were a thing before the soviets tore us apart? BTW, I'm sorry I shot you.

_Natasha Romanoff has left the conversation._

_Bucky Barnes has left the conversation_


	8. Bucky and Tony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Tony act like jerks towards each other, and Bucky tries to play matchmaker.

  
Bucky Barnes: Hi

  
Tony Stark: Well, if it isn't Robocop.

  
Bucky Barnes: Whatever ironpants.

  
Tony Stark: Wow, rude, much?

  
Bucky Barnes: You know I don't like being called Robocop, Stark

  
Tony Stark: It's an affectionate nickname.

  
Tony Stark: Like 'Capsicle' for Rogers.

  
Bucky Barnes: If you call Rogers Capsicle' one more time, lets just say your chest want be the only thing that has a hole in it.

  
Tony Stark: You're a violent one. After I did all that fixing on your arm.

  
Bucky Barnes: Hey, Steve is my soft spot.

  
Tony Stark: We all have one. Mine? Not gonna tell you. Sit down, Robo -- Barnes.

  
Bucky Barnes: Let me guess, that red headed girl that works for you ;)

  
Tony Stark: Yeah, no. That ended. I gave her anxiety.

  
Bucky Barnes: What a surprise, a Stark giving girl anxiety.

  
Tony Stark: What a surprise, the guy who staged the accident that killed my parents is being ironic about me giving a girl anxiety.

  
Bucky Barnes: Hey that wasn't me. It was Hyrda

  
Tony Stark: The Winter Soldier was involved with it. I've read the files. Steve gave 'em to me. By accident, I think, but I read them. Sure was hard translating all that Russian. I had to give Natasha my best bottle of vodka, you know? She's not cheap.

  
Bucky Barnes: Natasha is defiantly something. I trained her, you know?

  
Tony Stark: You trained her? Yes, I read you were in the Red Room around the same time. Never figured you two met. She's been secretive about it, in that case.

  
Bucky Barnes: That's because she rather forget it and all. Its rather painful to remember.

  
Tony Stark: Painful. In our line of work, or professions, pain's a given.

  
Bucky Barnes: Ditto. Thought I would use slang from this century.

  
Tony Stark: You've been learning.

  
Bucky Barnes: The Internet helps and so does Jarvis

  
Tony Stark: You're welcome. For Jarvis. I made him. I'm his God.

  
Bucky Barnes: More like his crazy father

  
Tony Stark: I'm not crazy, I'm eccentric.

  
Bucky Barnes: You keep telling yourself that.

  
Bucky Barnes: After all, you got your house blown up.

  
Tony Stark: Not my fault. Crazy people out there. I'm not the crazy one.

  
Bucky Barnes: Yeah, but you freaking told the terrorists where to find you, I think that makes you borderline crazy. You are even worse than Steve in the self preservation department

  
Tony Stark: I'm rather borderline crazy than a former Capsicle.

  
Bucky Barnes: Didn't I tell you not to call him that. "Murderous glare"

  
Tony Stark: He knows that I'm being affectionate. He accepts it. You should too.

  
Bucky Barnes: Fine, but I'm not happy with it.

  
Tony Stark: No need for you to be.

  
Bucky Barnes: BTW, I heard about what you said to Steve before the battle of New York. "Murderous glare"

  
Bucky Barnes: Don't think you are going to get away with that.

  
Tony Stark: Right. But he insulted me first.

  
Bucky Barnes: He had every right too. From what I heard you were being annoying jerk, plus Steve has always been a punk like that. Getting into fights with guys twice his size.

  
Tony Stark: He's taller than me. When I'm out of the suit. So. Your argument is invalid.

  
Bucky Barnes: You know Steve use to be smaller than you, right?

  
Tony Stark: I know. But he's not now.

  
Bucky Barnes: He is still a punk who gets into way to much trouble.

  
Tony Stark: That, I can agree with.

  
Bucky Barnes: I swear sometimes, I wish I could put a leash on him.

  
Tony Stark: That's kinky.

  
Bucky Barnes: Will you help me with something?

  
Tony Stark: I'm not buying you a leash.

  
Bucky Barnes: No, I need help finding a dam.... girl for Steve.

  
Tony Stark: A damn girl? That's not nice.

  
Bucky Barnes: I meant a girl, I forgot that you don't call girls dames anymore.

  
Tony Stark: Unless they're old.

  
Bucky Barnes: Well, anyway I need help getting Steve a young girl.

  
Tony Stark: He tried asking one out.

  
Bucky Barnes: Oh, really. Who was she?

  
Tony Stark: Some SHIELD agent working undercover to protect him.

  
Bucky Barnes: Oh, yeah. Sharon Carter.

  
Tony Stark: That's the one. I was going to guess on the name Samantha.

  
Bucky Barnes: I wonder why they never did go out?

  
Tony Stark: Trust issues, maybe? She did lie to him.

  
Bucky Barnes: Wait, she lied to him?

  
Tony Stark: Undercover. She told him she was a nurse. Named ... Carol? I don't know.

  
Bucky Barnes: Do you know where I can find her?

  
Tony Stark: She works for the CIA I think.

  
Bucky Barnes: OK, thanks. Very helpful.

  
Tony Stark: In D.C.

  
Bucky Barnes: Maybe I should try to help you find a girl?

  
Tony Stark: Nah, I'm over the whole relationship business.

  
Bucky Barnes: Come on Stark, you know that is a lie. You not being with a woman is like Steve without his shield.

  
Tony Stark: I can be with a womon, I just don't feel like committing to one.

  
Bucky Barnes: Commitment issues, much?

  
Bucky Barnes: Is it because of your daddy issues?

  
Tony Stark: I don't have any daddy issues. Howard had issues with me being his son, end of story.

  
Bucky Barnes: Yeah, right.

  
Bucky Barnes: I saw that video. Howard said you were his greatest creation

  
Tony Stark: Just an old crazy man trying to look better to his son.

  
Bucky Barnes: Or a father who didn't know what to do with his son because he was always getting into trouble.

  
Bucky Barnes: Wink Wink

  
Tony Stark: I wasn't always getting into trouble. Only like 90% of the time.

  
Bucky Barnes: More like 100%. I bet you you gave your parents heart attacks all the time.

  
Bucky Barnes: However, I must say your father was too trusting.

  
Tony Stark: Can we stop talking about my parents because I'm just reminded about the fact that you and Steve knew my dad when he was my age and that still creeps me out.

  
Bucky Barnes: Lol, I bet it does. However, you are technically older than me.

  
Bucky Barnes: By the way, did you ever build a flying car.

  
Tony Stark: I can't believe you just "lol"d me.

  
Bucky Barnes: Yeah, what are you going to do about it?

  
Tony Stark: Steve has never "lol"d me or anyone. I'm so proud of you.

  
Bucky Barnes: Well, you know Steve. He is very old fashion, very American.

  
Bucky Barnes: Patriotic and freedom

  
Bucky Barnes: Plus between you and me, I was the cool one.

  
Tony Stark: I honestly have no doubt about that. You have the cool arm as well.

  
Tony Stark: You're welcome.

  
Bucky Barnes: So did you ever build a flying car because you father's failed miserably.

  
Tony Stark: I may have. It was banned. It's illegal to use it.

  
Bucky Barnes: Aw, man. Thats totally unfair. I was so looking forward to a flying car.

  
Tony Stark: I have a flying suit.

  
Bucky Barnes: Flying cars are better?

  
Tony Stark: Flying suits are cooler.

  
Bucky Barnes: Flying cars are the bomb.

  
Tony Stark: I can make a flying suit into a bomb. Literally the bomb.

  
Tony Stark: I win.

  
Tony Stark: Thank you, thank you.

  
Bucky Barnes: I think anything is cooler than your flying suits, including Sam's wings.

  
Tony Stark: You're no longer on top of my list, Barnes.

  
Bucky Barnes: What a shame and thought we were like totally BFF.

  
Bucky Barnes: What will your father think?

  
Tony Stark: Well he's dead. Can't think much now, can he?

  
Bucky Barnes: Well when time machines are created, we just have to back into the past and see what he thinks?

  
Tony Stark: Let's not.

  
Bucky Barnes: Aw, come on. It will be fun.

  
Bucky Barnes: Don't be such a party pooper, Stark. I thought you were the life of the party?

  
Tony Stark: Let's go back into the past and see what Jesus was up to.

  
Bucky Barnes: Or you could just ask Steve. He is Catholic, you know?

  
Tony Stark: I want to see it with my own eyes.

  
Tony Stark: Give him a high five.

  
Tony Stark: Take a selfie.

  
Bucky Barnes: Tony and Jesus taking a selfie, that will be the end of the world as we know it.

  
Tony Stark: It'll be the start of a new, cooler world.

  
Bucky Barnes: You keep thinking that Stark.

  
Tony Stark: I will.

  
Bucky Barnes: So what are you building? Hopefully not another killer robot?

  
Tony Stark: ... I'm fixing Pepper's vacuum cleaner.

  
Bucky Barnes: Why? I thought you two broke up?

  
Tony Stark: Doesn't mean we're not on speaking terms. We work together.

  
Bucky Barnes: I could never be friends with one of my exs

  
Bucky Barnes: "Starts walking over to one of Starks other projects." What does this button do?

  
Tony Stark: ... That's a coffee machine.

  
Bucky Barnes: Coffee machines are sure more complex in the future?

  
Tony Stark: It's a Stark made coffee machine. It makes any kind of coffee you want.

  
Bucky Barnes: Why am I not surprise? What haven't you built?

  
Tony Stark: A flying tampon?

  
Bucky Barnes: Only you would say that. Imagine if Steve was with us right now.

  
Tony Stark: He'd blush.

  
Bucky Barnes: Yeah, he blushes way to easy. They should call up Captain Blushface

  
Tony Stark: ... I'm calling him that from now on.

  
Bucky Barnes: Oh really, gives him a glare

  
Tony Stark: Yes.

  
Bucky Barnes: Ok Shellhead

  
Tony Stark: Shellhead?

  
Bucky Barnes: Yep

  
Tony Stark: Rude.

  
Tony Stark: Barnes and Nobles.

  
Bucky Barnes: Ironpants

  
Bucky Barnes: Full fledge drama queen

  
Tony Stark: Wow.

  
Tony Stark: Woow.

  
Tony Stark: That's Mister Full Fledged Drama Queen to you.

  
Bucky Barnes: Apparently your last name means bland in appearance

  
Bucky Barnes: Maybe that is why you don't have a girl?

  
Tony Stark: When was the last time you had one?

  
Bucky Barnes: I kissed Natasha yesterday.

  
Tony Stark: ... I'm surprised you're alive.

  
Bucky Barnes: Hey, we are dating.

  
Tony Stark: I'm surprised you're alive.

  
Bucky Barnes: You know she isn't that bad Stark, you just got on her bad side. Besides Stevie has kissed her too, and he is still alive

  
Tony Stark: Steve's a fossil, he doesn't count.

  
Bucky Barnes: And what am I?

  
Bucky Barnes: Clint and Sam have also kissed her and they are still alive

  
Tony Stark: Sam has kissed Natasha?!

  
Bucky Barnes: Yep

  
Bucky Barnes: I guess you are the only one, who hasn't

  
Tony Stark: ... I don't want to kiss her.

  
Bucky Barnes: That's not what I heard from Pepper?

  
Tony Stark: When did you talk to Pepper?!

  
Bucky Barnes: A couple days ago

  
Tony Stark: I'm sad.

  
Bucky Barnes: This is the worlds tiniest violin

  
Tony Stark: Thanks.

  
Bucky Barnes: Your welcome

  
Tony Stark: I'm going to lie down on the floor now and perish.

  
Bucky Barnes: You are such a drama queen

  
Tony Stark: I know.

  
Tony Stark: Give me an Oscar.

  
Bucky Barnes: More like a razzie

  
Tony Stark: You're no longer on my friend list. I'm unfriending you. Blocked, and reporter.

  
Tony Stark: reported*

  
Bucky Barnes: Whatever, Stark. You know you can't live without my metal arm.

  
Tony Stark: It is my biggest kink.

  
Bucky Barnes: Of course it is.

  
Tony Stark: Is it working like it should? No malfunctions? How are the sensors?

  
Bucky Barnes: They are fine

  
Tony Stark: I knew it.

  
Bucky Barnes: "Bucky Barnes Smile"

_Tony Stark has left the conversation._

_Bucky Barnes leaves the conversation_


	9. Tony Stark, Steve Roger, and Bucky Barnes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get into a bunch of hijinks: pie throwing, match making, blowing things up, and just generally annoying the crap out of each other.

  
Steve Rogers: Hi Stark  


  
Tony Stark: Cap! Come in, I have something to show you.  


  
Steve Rogers: "Walks into Stark's lab."  


  
Tony Stark: *Looks around until he finds a box* I found this with my dad's old things. *hands it to you* It's got pictures and some items I think are yours.  


  
Steve Rogers: "Takes the box and begins digging through it.   


  
Steve Rogers: "See's pictures of himself and Bucky." Wow, thanks Stark.  


  
Tony Stark: No problem. I figured you might want them back so, there.  


  
Steve Rogers: "Sets the box down and looks around Stark's lab." What are you building?  


  
Tony Stark: I'm working on a new project, basicaly, it's a bigger armor to fight Thor. *goes back to building*  


  
Steve Rogers: Wouldn't the hulk-buster be able to do that. After all, the hulk is stronger than Thor. All though don't let him know I said that.  


  
Tony Stark: Technically, yes, but the Hulkbuster was not designed to resist lightning. So I'm making a Thorbuster.  


  
Tony Stark: The Thorbuster should be able to whitstand high voltage without over heating or having energy excess.  


  
Steve Rogers: But didn't Thor shoot you with lightening when you were fighting him after he kidnapped Loki, and it increased the power in your suit 400% or something like that?  


  
Tony Stark: Yes, but had he stricken me with more power, I'd have fried the suit. As I said, energy excess.  


  
Tony Stark: Didn't you see the dent he left?  


  
Steve Rogers: No, I was to busy fighting trying to break both of you up.  


  
Steve Rogers: Have you built a suit to fight me yet?  


  
Tony Stark: Well, he left a huge ass dent.  


  
Tony Stark: Hm, no, should I?  


  
Steve Rogers: Why are you even building suits to fight us, Tony? Don't you trust us?  


  
Tony Stark: *sighs* I- Steve, I do trust you. I trust the team, even if it doesn't look like it. I just... like to have a backup plan. Always.  


  
Steve Rogers: You're too paranoid. You need to relax, Stark.  


  
Tony Stark: I probably do, Rogers... To be honest, I haven't trusted someone this much since.. well, you know, the incident with Obie.  


  
Steve Rogers: I heard, and I'm sorry about Obie. But none of us will ever try to betray you or pay terrorists to kill you.  


  
Tony Stark: That's comforting. Thanks.  


  
Steve Rogers: What did your father see in him, though? Or Ivan Vanko?  


  
Tony Stark: I have no freaking idea, my father was a very strange man.  


  
Steve Rogers: I have question though, was Obie possibly Hydra?  


  
Tony Stark: ...I never thought about that, but, now that you mention it, yeah. He could have been. He had a high place in society, a lot of politic influence and an entire weapons company.  


  
Steve Rogers: And he wanted to kill you. Hydra, after all, killed your parents.  


  
Tony Stark: Gosh darn, we're so good, we're building our own conspiracy theories.  


  
Steve Rogers: If only I could find Bucky, though.  


  
Tony Stark: Oh, I almost forgot! I made a little program to help you search for him. J?

[JARVIS] Running program, Sir. *a bunch of holograms appear*   


  
Steve Rogers: What did he find?  


  
Tony Stark: Well, not much, but there's five places where a man, looking very much like Bucky has been spotted. *different places appear on the map*

[JARVIS] There is a 78% chance it's Seargeant Barnes, Sir.   


  
Steve Rogers: Where?  


  
Tony Stark: Here, here and, the most recent one, here. *points to the map and a picture of a man sitting on a bench appears* This was two hours ago, in a park. He sat on that bench for fifteen minutes and then went off the radar again.  


  
Steve Rogers: Well, let me know if Jarvis picks up another sighting.  


  
Tony Stark: Of course. Off. *holograms dissapear*  


  
Steve Rogers: Thanks, Stark. Hopefully I can find him before Hydra does. Gosh, I really hate Hydra.  


  
Steve Rogers: "Looks like he wants to hit something."  


  
Tony Stark: Hey, I've got an idea. You look like you're about to destroy something, and I should go follow your advice on relaxing so, how about we go to the gym? I've been meaning to ask you to teach me some fight moves.  


  
Steve Rogers: Sure. I need a distraction.  


  
Tony Stark: Great. Let's go then. Dummy! Butterfingers!*points to the robots* You two are on guard duty, don't mess this up. *turns to the door*  


  
Steve Rogers: Since when did you have a robot named butterfingers? "Walks towards door with Stark."  


  
Tony Stark: I made him when I was bored, don't judge me. *heads to the gym*  


  
Steve Rogers: "Head towards gym with Stark."  


  
Tony Stark: *gets inside*  


  
Steve Rogers: "Head over to the boxing ring."  


  
Tony Stark: *Follows behind Steve* So.  


  
Steve Rogers: Get your boxing gloves on.  


  
Tony Stark: Fine. *goes to put on boxing gear*  


  
Steve Rogers: Ok, first I'm going to teach you offense.  


  
Tony Stark: Ok, what do I do?  


  
Steve Rogers: First of all, try to punch me.  


  
Tony Stark: Wha- are you sure?  


  
Steve Rogers: I need to see what you can do before I can teach you anything.  


  
Tony Stark: Alright then. *throws a punch*  


  
Steve Rogers: "I duck." Your going to have to do better than that.  


  
Tony Stark: Oh, you'll see *tries to punch you again*  


  
Steve Rogers: "I duck again. Then I punch Tony, knocking him unconscious."  


  
Tony Stark: *Wakes up, confused and on the ground* What the hell happened? How did I end up here?  


  
Steve Rogers: "I leave the room."  


  
Tony Stark: Wha- Steve! Come back here!  


  
Steve Rogers: You'll never take me alive.  


  
Tony Stark: What? Steve?  


  
Steve Rogers: Jarvis: Steve has left the building, sir.  


  
Tony Stark: Huh. Do you have any idea why?  


  
Steve Rogers: Jarvis: I do not know, sir.  


  
Tony Stark: Hm. Did he say if he was coming back?  


  
Steve Rogers: Jarvis: Nope  


  
Tony Stark: Great. Just, great. *sighs*  


  
Tony Stark: I supose I'll go back to work, tell me if he gets back.  


  
Steve Rogers: Jarvis: Will do, sir.  


  
Tony Stark: *Goes back to the lab*  


  
Steve Rogers: "Stark enters his lab, while Steve sneaks up behind him and pies him in the face, with Bucky laughing in the background."  


  
Tony Stark: ARE YOU KIDDING ME, I WAS WORRIED *tries not to laugh but fails horribly*  


  
Tony Stark: You two douchebags, I hate you  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: We got you, Stark.  


  
Tony Stark: Screw you. *wipes some cake off his face and throws it at Bucky*  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: "Throws it back at Stark."  


  
Steve Rogers: You never saw it coming, Stark.  


  
Tony Stark: *Dodges and ends up tripping on a wire, almost falling* Oh screw you too. *makes a grumpy face*  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: Who knew you could be such a klutz, Stark. His father was never like this, was he Steve.  


  
Steve Rogers: No he wasn't, Buck.  


  
Tony Stark: You are so annoying I can't even believe how. It's like, your annoyingness levels just doubled. Also, nice to meet you Barnes.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: Thanks, I its great to meet you too, Stark. By the way, I'm still waiting for my flying car.  


  
Steve Rogers: You remember?  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: Of course I remember.  


  
Tony Stark: Dude, the flying car couldn't make it. Wasn't aproved by the goverment, so my dad gave it away. I think he gave it to Fury, I'm not sure. But I could make you a projectile arm or jet boots.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: "Pouts."  


  
Tony Stark: Aw, don't be so sad. I could make you a flying motorcycle. But if you still want the car, you deal with the legal issues.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: I almost want to march up to those government ninnies and threaten them to allow me to have a flying car. Yet, I can't because they will arrest me because of my distant past as the Winter Soldier.  


  
Tony Stark: Sucks to be you, pal.  


  
Steve Rogers: Can I have a flying Motorcycle?  


  
Tony Stark: Yes.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: Watch it Stark. "Shows his metal armed with the hand curled up in a fist."  


  
Steve Rogers: Awesome. I've always wanted a flying motorcycle  


  
Tony Stark: Was that a threat? I feel thea- wait, flex that arm again.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: Shut up, Stark.  


  
Tony Stark: What  do you mean, shut up? Flex it again, it might be broken.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: "Sighs and flexes it again." It's not broken. Even though Hydra were soulless monsters, they did keep my arm up to date and made sure it never broke.  


  
Steve Rogers: Did I mention how much I hate hydra.  


  
Tony Stark: Yeah, you did, what's that? *points at a dent*  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: That's my cooling vent. Wow, I thought you were a genius like your old man, but I guess not.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: Steve, you were right. Howard is smarter than Tony.  


  
Steve Rogers: I know. Howard would never have built Ultron.  


  
Tony Stark: Are you ever gonna let me live that down? It was like five month ago geez.And you shouldn't need a vent for a metal arm, that means your arm needs cooling, and that's dumb. Your arm should function like a normal arm, not a machine. And that's why I, being the genius I am, will make you a new one.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: I'm not sure I trust you with making a new arm. After all, most of the the stuff you build either turns evil or blows up.  


  
Steve Rogers: It does. Everything he creates eventually leads to destruction.  


  
Tony Stark: God damnit. Steve you somehow managed to explode every. single. bike. you ever had.  


  
Steve Rogers: Jarvis: Accesses videos of Starks inventions blowing up including his house in California  


  
Tony Stark: JarVIS NO  


  
Steve Rogers: Hey, its not my fault that Hydra is out to get me.  


  
Steve Rogers: Jarvis: Sorry, sir. Bucky overrided my system.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: Hey don't forget about me, Steve.  


  
Tony Stark: Bucky don't hack into my crap.  


  
Tony Stark: Also, I'm serious about the arm. If you don't want it to blow up, I won't put explosives in it. But c'mon, where's the fun in that?  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: Starks alway find fun in blowing stuff up.  


  
Tony Stark: *grunts* I haven't blown my lab in weeks! And last time it was Banner's fault!  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: Congrats, you deserve a freaking gold star.  


  
Tony Stark: I do, thank you.  


  
Steve Rogers: More like a t-shirt that says I went a whole week without blowing stuff up.  


  
Tony Stark: That would be unpractical, because then I'd probably make something explode and I won't be able to wear it.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: This why you can't have nice things.  


  
Steve Rogers: You know his girlfriend can also blow things up too.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: Right, extremis. I heard about that. Nasty stuff.  


  
Tony Stark: She fucking rocks. I'd advise you not to mess with her, she's smoking hot. Literally and figuratively.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: Right. Hey Steve, how much longer do you reckin they stay together?  


  
Steve Rogers: I give it two months tops.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: Want to make a bet?  


  
Tony Stark: Not even three? Come on!  


  
Steve Rogers: Maybe we can get Sam, Natasha, Clint, and Bruce in on it too.  


  
Tony Stark: Whyyyyy  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: I give it maybe three weeks.  


  
Tony Stark: Ugh, you guys are the worst.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: You know you love us, Stark.  


  
Steve Rogers: Come on admit it, Stark. You would be lost with out us.  


  
Tony Stark: I don't know why I befriended such bags of douchery as you two are. You are even worse when you're together.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: You should've seen us when we were with the Howling Commandoes. They didn't call us Howling Commandoes for nothing.  


  
Steve Rogers: Yeah, we annoyed everybody. Colonel Phillips wanted to court martial us, but he couldn't because we were so good at destroying hydra.  


  
Tony Stark: God, I can't imagine all the crap you gave him.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: Yeah, we were menaces  


  
Steve Rogers: But we are nothing like Thor, Barton, and the Hulk together. Now they get into some serious hijinks.  


  
Tony Stark: Don't get me started on those idiots. Freaking blasted a hole through my wall, last time.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: Really. That must have been awesome. Where is the video?  


  
Steve Rogers: Jarvis: Accessing Video now.  


  
Tony Stark: Oh great.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: Wow, that gives me an idea.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: "Whispers into Steve's ear."  


  
Tony Stark: I don't like ideas if they're coming from your mouths. Nu-uh. This is not good.  


  
Steve Rogers: "Walks out of the lab and walks back in a couple minutes later with soda and mentos."  


  
Tony Stark: Oh god. Guys no. Not in tHE LAB.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: "Takes the 20 0z soda, opens the lid, opens the package of mentos and puts them in the soda."  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: "Smiles as soda begins to shoot everywhere in every direction."  


  
Tony Stark: Crap!  
  


  
Steve Rogers: "Starts laughing."  


  
Tony Stark: Now I have to clean this mess. Aaaaaaaagh  


  
Tony Stark: Who would have thought a pair of ninety plus year olds would be so much like children.  


  
Steve Rogers: What's wrong with acting like a child every once in a while.  


  
Tony Stark: What's wrong is: you act like a child all day. Yesterday you made pancakes with faces on them.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: Pancakes with faces are the bomb. I should have came yesterday.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: Remember when I put faces on pancakes when you were younger Steve, to cheer you up because you were sick and you couldn't go outside.  


  
Steve Rogers: Yes, I do. Man, the good old days.  


  
Tony Stark: *sighs* Honestly, they were good pancakes, I'm not gonna deny that.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: Stevie makes the best pancakes in the world.  


  
Tony Stark: Agreed  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: Honestly, had Steve not been an amazing artist, I would have told him to become a chef.  


  
Steve Rogers: My food is not that good. "Blushes."  


  
Tony Stark: It is, though. You made a stew last week. I hate stew but somehow you managed to get me to love it. It's like your hands are magic.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: Steve was good at everything except physical activity. If he even tried to run a short distance, he would get winded and his asthma would start up.  


  
Tony Stark: Damn. I supose there's nothing Captain America can't do now.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: He still can't talk to girl without embarrassing himself.  


  
Tony Stark: True that.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky, that is not true. I asked Sharon out for coffee a year ago.  


  
Tony Stark: And what did you archieve?  


  
Steve Rogers: Hey, I can' help it that Sharon and me didn't work out. It would have been awkward between us considering, I kissed her great aunt. Plus I talked to Natasha just fine.  


  
Steve Rogers: Plus she even kissed me.  


  
Tony Stark: She kissed you on a mission. Undercover. To not blow your covers.  


  
Tony Stark: That does not count.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: That doesn't count. She kissed you as diversion, so that Rumlow wouldn't catch you guys on the escalator.  


  
Steve Rogers: Yeah, well she kissed me on the cheek a couple days after the mission ended. So there.  


  
Tony Stark: Barnes, this poor man here seems to require advice of the flirting kind.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: I know. He was useless as a scrawny strong - willed punk, and he still his as a giant muscled hunk.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: You want to help me set Steve up with a girl, Stark.  


  
Steve Rogers: I don't need your help. I can find a girl on my own, thank you very much.  


  
Tony Stark: Oh? And have you found her?  


  
Steve Rogers: Well.... um know. But Bucky hasn't found a girl either.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: Wrong. I'm dating Natalia.  


  
Tony Stark: Hah!  


  
Steve Rogers: Since when?  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: For a couple months. She has been helping me get back on my feet. That is why I haven't come to you till today. I needed to be sure that I wouldn't hurt you.  


  
Tony Stark: You're like, the Russian speaking assasin duo. Impressive.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: I'm glad that your impressed, Stark. Your approval means the world to me.  


  
Steve Rogers: And all along I thought she was dating Clint.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: Clint is married to Bobbi Morse.  


  
Steve Rogers: Who?  


  
Steve Rogers: Mockingbird?  


  
Tony Stark: Crap, are you serious?  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: Yes, her.  


  
Tony Stark: How did I not know this?  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: It's apparently level ten  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: Like Coulsin still being alive.  


  
Tony Stark: Why? Oh, you know what, never mind, I'm happy for them an- WHAT  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: However, when Stevie here and Natalia released the Shield and Hydra files on the internet everything became known. Including information about Coulsin's team.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: Hey Steve, did you know that Gabe Jones' grandson worked for shield?  


  
Steve Rogers: Actually, I did. I never got to meet him though. It's sad that he died in action a while back.  


  
Steve Rogers: Bucky: I know. I was so looking forward to trading stories with him.  


_Tony Stark has left the conversation._

_Bucky Barnes has left the conversation_

_Steve Rogers has left the conversation_


	10. Steve and Natasha Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Natasha are on a mission.

 

 

  
undercover!Natasha Romanoff: Oh, Steve? I mean... Captain Rogers?

 

  
Steve Rogers: Hey Natasha. Call me Steve.

 

  
undercover!Natasha Romanoff: Shhhh

 

  
undercover!Natasha Romanoff: Don't.

 

  
undercover!Natasha Romanoff: Undercover.

 

  
undercover!Natasha Romanoff: It's Natalie for now.

 

  
Steve Rogers: Okay, Natalie.

 

  
Steve Rogers: What is the mission?

 

  
undercover!Natasha Romanoff: Someone has some sensitive material on Barnes. We need it back.

 

  
Steve Rogers: Okay, gotcha. Is it Hydra?

 

  
undercover!Natasha Romanoff: Nope, just a tabloid. The guy is over there. I'm gonna go in and distract him, grabbing the drive. I need you to deal with evac

 

  
Steve Rogers: Okay, I will.

 

  
Steve Rogers: "Starting Evac...."

 

  
undercover!Natasha Romanoff: Keep your coms on.

 

  
Steve Rogers: Roger, that.

 

  
undercover!Natasha Romanoff: Roger, rogers. *giggles*

 

  
Steve Rogers: Really..... Natalie..... "Smiles."

 

  
undercover!Natasha Romanoff: Really. *smiles back*

 

  
Steve Rogers: Have you gotten the guy yet? If you have, I want to talk to him.

 

  
undercover!Natasha Romanoff: I have the info. If you'd like to hurt him I don't mind. He definitely looked down my dress.

 

  
Steve Rogers: What.....he looked down your dress? Son of .......

 

  
Steve Rogers: It's men like him that are destroying America.....

 

  
undercover!Natasha Romanoff: Better then Russia

 

  
Steve Rogers: He will wish he was never born once I get through with him. "Angrily flenching his fists."

 

  
undercover!Natasha Romanoff: *giggles* Steve, you don't have to

 

_ undercover!Natasha Romanoff has left the conversation. _

_ Steve Rogers has left the conversation. _

 

_........................................ _

** A couple days later ** _  
_

  
Steve Rogers: Hello, Natalie  


  
undercover!Natasha Romanoff: Hello.  


  
Steve Rogers: How is the mission?  


  
undercover!Natasha Romanoff: *quietly* I think someone drugged me.  


  
Steve Rogers: Where are you, Nat?  


  
Steve Rogers: Do you need back up?  


  
undercover!Natasha Romanoff: The bar. Track me. Use my phone.  


  
Steve Rogers: Okay, I'll grab Bucky and be there in twenty minutes or less.  


  
undercover!Natasha Romanoff: Thank you.  


 

_undercover!Natasha Romanoff has left the conversation._

_Steve Rogers has left the conversation._

 


	11. The Avengers + Guests.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All of the Avengers must go up against some of their most dangerous enemies. Plus Stark admits he loves Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Iron Man 3 spoilers, last episode of Agent Carter Spoilers.  
> I don't know own any of the characters, Marvel does. I wish I did though.

**Steve Rogers:**  Hey, Stark.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He was working on one of his cars quietly and looked up from under the car.” Oh hey Rogers

 **Steve Rogers:**  What's up? I see that you're working on one of your cars.

 **Tony Stark:**  Yeah it’s a change from the usual suit.

 **Steve Rogers:**  So what are you doing with it? Does it fly?

 **Tony Stark:**  Ha no. The transmission was messed up from last time Clint used it

 **Steve Rogers:**  What did Clint do this time? “He rolls his eyes.”

 **Tony Stark:**  He couldn’t hear me yell at him to not take any of my cars out. So he took this one, and screwed up the transmission, the decals and the hood.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Even if he heard you, he never listens anyway.

 **Tony Stark:**  Exactly. So I told him I would not be repairing his hearing aids.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Lol, I bet he was mad. Maybe he destroyed your car on purpose to get back at you. I wouldn't put it beneath him.

 **Tony Stark:**  Did you actually just say, lol Steve? “He chuckled.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  What! I know how to use lingo from this century Stark. I've been living in this time for over three years, thank you very much.

 **Tony Stark:**  Well yeah, but you still say old people words sometimes.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Well, I'm sorry if I'm old fashioned. Besides, the ladies love it.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He chuckled” You little womanizer.

 **Steve Rogers:**  :p

 **Steve Rogers:**  Watch it Stark. That term is derogatory towards the male species, and besides, men need to treat women with respect. Not sleep around with them, like you do. No wander your relationships never last.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He rolled his eyes.” I haven’t slept around in along time.

  **JARVIS** : “He sighed softly watching them bicker from one of the many screens.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Are you still dating Pepper?

 **Tony Stark:**  I broke up with her because I didn’t want her to get hurt.

 **Steve Rogers:**  That is surprisingly humane of you, Stark.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Actually putting others before yourself, for once.

 **Tony Stark:**  I’m not always conceded.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Oh really....

 **Tony Stark:**  Yes Steve. “He got up, slowly brushing the dirt off himself.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Tony Stark might actually have a heart after all.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He rolled his eyes gently and lifted the hood of the car, popping the dent out.”

 **Tony Stark:**  I have always had one.

 **Steve Rogers:**  "He changes the subject." So, how is building Bucky a new arm?

 **Tony Stark:**  Considering that you keep putting refrigerator magnets on his current one, not well.

 **Tony Stark:**  And I’m not a doctor, Steve.

 **Steve Rogers:**  I'm not putting refrigerator magnets on his arm.

 **Steve Rogers:**  It's Clint or Sam. I'm not entirely sure which one though.

 **Tony Stark:**  Sure you aren’t

 **Tony Stark:**  “He then slams the hood down on his hand on accident.” Crap.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Omg, Tony. Are you okay?

 **Steve Rogers:**  Do I need to call Bruce?

 **Tony Stark:**  AGH! *He whimpered* Just g-g-g-get the damn AAAAOOWWW H-hood off me!

 **Steve Rogers:**  "Races over to the car, opens the door, and bends down and pulls the latch to open the hood."

 **Tony Stark:**  STEVE, JUST GET IT OFF ALREADY!

 **Steve Rogers:**  I just did. That doesn't look good, Stark. "He looks at Stark's hand, which has swollen to twice its size."

 **Tony Stark:**  “He whimpered in pain” Crap! Ow.. ow ow ow!

 **Steve Rogers:**  Do you want me to call Bruce?

 **Tony Stark:**  J-Jarvis g-g-get the painkillers! “He whimpered.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  I really think we should call Bruce, Stark?

 **Tony Stark:**  T-then do it. “He whimpered loudly, shaking in pain.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  "He takes his phone out of his pocket, turns it on, clicks the contacts icon, scrolls to Bruce Banner, and calls him.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Hi Bruce, can you come down to Tony's workshop. There has been an accident.

  **Bruce** : What did Stark do this time?

 **Steve Rogers:**  He closed a car hood on his hand. It looks broken, but I'm not sure.

  **Bruce** : I'll be right down.

 **Steve Rogers:**  "He hangs up and puts the phone back in his pocket."

 **Tony Stark:**   “He is pacing back and forth in pain trying to hold back tears, as he took a couple pain pills.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  He will be right down.

 **Tony Stark:**  Good! “He whimpered.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Stark, that's too many pain pills.

 **Tony Stark:**  Is it? “He whined in pain.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Yes. You are only supposed to take two.

 **Tony Stark:**  Ehhhh! “He shrugged.” I only took four, so relax.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Really, that didn't look like four. More like six.

 **Steve Rogers:**  You could OD, you know. Do you feel dizzy or woozy?

 **Tony Stark:**  “He shrugged.” Nah!

 **Steve Rogers:**  Are you sure?

  **JARVIS** : Captain Rogers, due to the arc reactor, he usually has to take more.

 **Tony Stark:**  What J said. “He muttered softly rubbing his hand in pain.”

 **Bruce** : "He walks into the lab and looks at Tony's hand and sighs.” How can you be so careless? This is the third time this week that you have done something like this, Stark. I'm beginning to lose my patience with you, and you know what happens when I lose my patience.

 **Tony Stark:**  Please don’t get mad in here. “He sighed softly.” What were the other two times again?

 **Steve Rogers:**  One of your ironman hands knocked you out and gave you a concussion, and you burned yourself when making coffee because you were sleep deprived.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Bruce, told me.

 **Bruce** : Tony, come with me. We need to walk up to my lab to get a x-ray on that arm pronto to see if it’s broken.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He whimpered softly and walked with Bruce and Steve.” Riiiiight.. “He gasped, still in pain.”

 **Bruce** **:** "He walks into the elevator with Tony and Steve and pushes the button to open the door. Then they all file into the elevator and the door closes." Stop touching it Stark, it will only make it hurt worse.

 **Tony Stark:**  I thought rubbing it was supposed to help “He whimpered more.” Crap, how do I mess up this bad.

 **JARVIS** : You only had three hours of sleep this week, sir.

  **Bruce** : "The elevator then reaches the 44th floor of the tower and the door opens." That's probably why, Stark. You need more sleep.

  **Bruce** : "They then all file out of the elevator and walk into Bruce's lab. Then Banner walks over to the x-ray machine and gets it ready to take an x-ray." Okay, Stark place your hand here.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He did so, gasping in pain and putting his head in Steve’s chest, whimpering.”

  **JARVIS** : I recommend, he sleep.

 **Bruce** : Come on Stark, I need you to put your hand here, so I can x-ray it. And get your head off Steve. Geesh, I don't have the patience for this.... muttering to himself.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He sighed softly and put his arm where Bruce needed it.” Just do the x-ray.

  **Bruce:** Thank you, Stark. "He x-rays Tony's hand and then examines the x-ray." Good news it's not broken, only badly sprained. However, you need to wear a cast for the next six weeks. And for goodness sake Tony, you need sleep.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He whined.” How the freaking heck am I supposed to wear my suit?

 **Bruce:** I'll go get the stuff for your cast. "He walks out of the lab and into another room. Then walks back in with the red cast material."

 **Bruce:** To answer your question, you'll be out of commission for that entire period of time, Stark. So you don’t need to worry about how to where your suit. Besides, this is a blessing in disguise. Now you can take time to catch up on your sleep.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Maybe he'll stop doing stupid idiotic things like this, because I beginning to doubt his creditability of being a genius.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He glared softly at Steve.” Love you too. “Then he falls asleep in Steve’s arms.”

  **Bruce:** "He sighs, and puts the cast on Tony's arm. Then both Bruce and Steve carry Tony onto Bruce’s couch.”

 **Tony Stark:**  *He snoozes quietly.”

 **JARVIS:** You two tsk.

 **Bruce** : How are his vitals, Jarvis?

 **JARVIS:** he needs to replace his Badassium.

 **JARVIS** : But he is slightly getting better.

 **Bruce** : Good, I worry about him, you know.

 **Steve Rogers:**  I do too, even if he is a pain in the butt sometimes.

 **JARVIS** : Again, his Badassium needs to be replaced or it’s gonna kill him.

  **JARVIS** : Please tell me one of you two know how to do that?

 **Bruce** : Not exactly. Tony hasn't gotten to training me how to do it yet.

 **JARVIS** : How about you Captain?

 **Steve Rogers:**  Nope, sorry. I don't usually come down to the lab very much.

 **Bruce:** I think Rhodey or Pepper might know.

 **Jarvis:** Pepper does, but she is in London with Rhodes.

 **Bruce:** Skype them, Jarvis. They can tell me step by step on how to do it.

 **JARVIS** : I know how to, as does DUm-E. However, you know I have no body.

 **Bruce** : Then tell me how to do it, Jarvis.

 **Jarvis** : First take off his shirt.

 **Bruce** : "He pulls Tony's shirt off."

 **Jarvis** : Captain, take off the faceplate carefully.

 **Steve Rogers:**  "He takes off the faceplate very slowly and genteelly as possible.”

  **Dum-E** : “He slowly wheeled over with the new Badassium, removing the old one.”

  **Bruce** : Okay, what's next?

 **JARVIS** : Now that the old Badassium is removed, carefully put the new one in

 **Bruce** : "Grabs the new Badassium from Dum-E and slowly puts the new one into Stark's chest."

 **JARVIS** : There you go.

** “Next Day” **

**Tony Stark:**  *He wakes up after sleeping for twenty-four hours.” Ugh, what!

 **Tony Stark:**  Where the heck am I? “He looks dazed.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Welcome back to the land of the living, Stark.

 **Tony Stark:**  How long was I out? “He blinks.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Twenty-four hours.

 **Tony Stark:**  Ugh crap! I was supposed to have three meetings today. Pepper is going to get pissed.

  **Jarvis** : Pepper is in London with Rhodes, sir. However, she was contacted about your accident.

 **Tony Stark:**  Accident?

 **Tony Stark:**  Oh right, I smashed my hand.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He muttered softly.”

 **Bruce:** "He walks into the room and notices that Stark has finally woken up." Good, you're finally awake. How are you felling, Tony?

 **Tony Stark:**  Dazed and confused. How did I managed to sleep for an entire day?

 **Tony Stark:**  Also “He sat up” whoever put the new Badassium in, forgot to put the plate back on.

 **Bruce** : The painkillers I gave you knocked you out. Jarvis, you forgot to tell me to put the plate back on.

 **Tony Stark:**  Okay well where is the plate so I can? “He looked around.”

 **Bruce** : "He looks around the lab, until he see's it. Then he hands it to Stark."

 **Tony Stark:**  “He took it from Bruce’s hand, and then placed it back properly.”

 **Tony Stark:**  There we go. Now back to the lab for me. “He walked towards the elevator.”

 **Bruce** : Oh, no you don't. I don't want you any where near your lab for at least week. I would prefer you stay away for the full six weeks, but I know I can't force you to do that.

 **Tony Stark:**  What if Clint breaks another hearing aid?

 **Bruce:** He will just have to go to a real audiologist to get it fixed, like a normal person.

 **Tony Stark:**  But I am such a genius, and I’m almost like a doctor

 **Bruce:** "He glares at Tony."

 **Tony Stark:**  What? “He smiles softly.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Even when you are seriously injured, you still act arrogant.

 **Tony Stark:**  Come on, a broken hand is not that bad.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Still, Stark. You need to learn that you aren't the only genius in existence. The world does not revolve around you, and we can survive without you for a couple weeks. You need to take this time to recover.

 **Bruce:** Stark, as your doctor please listen to Steve. Don't make me get Pepper or Rhodey to come down here and act like mother hens.

 **Tony Stark:**  Alright! Alright! I’ll listen to you Bruce. I will man the field from here, then.

 **JARVIS:** Um, we have a problem.

 **Steve Rogers:**  What is the problem, Jarvis?

 **JARVIS:** Abomination is attacking alongside the Red Skull.

 **Bruce** : Oh, great just what we need.

 **Tony Stark:**  Especially, when I am out of commission.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Jarvis, can you call the rest of the team. Stark, go to the lab and figure out what is going on. Bruce, it's time for you to get angry.

 **Tony Stark:**  WAIT! Bruce get angry outside, please.

 **Bruce** : Like I said, Cap. I'm always angry. "He runs through one of the windows in his lab, transforming into the Hulk."

 **Tony Stark:**  Holy Crap.

 **Steve Rogers:**  "He runs to his apartment and gets dressed in his uniform."

 **Steve Rogers:**  Hey, Jarvis I need a lift outside.

 **JARVIS** : I recommend the already broken window, Captain Rogers. **_*Steve’s motorcycle pops up from the floor then.”_**

 **Steve Rogers:**  Thanks Jarvis. Stark, any Intel?

 **Tony Stark:**  Working on it. *He types away at the computer.” Skull... has one of my suits.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Oh, great. Who on our team is currently outside, besides Hulk?

 **Tony Stark:**  Looks like Clint is in your neck of the woods, and Sam is headed your way.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Thanks. Where's Widow, Thor, Scarlett Witch, Vision, Quicksilver, and Spiderman?

 **Steve Rogers:**  "He gets on his motorcycle and drives through the broken window."

 **Tony Stark:**  Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver are in space at the moment. Vision’s location is currently unknown.

 **Tony Stark:**  And Thor is already with Hulk.

 **Steve Rogers:**  How about Natasha and Peter?

 **Tony Stark:**  Nat is headed your way as well. “He types some more.” Pete is dealing with his own problem right now: looks like Doctor Octopus.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Okay, thanks Stark. Keep an eye on us and tell us if anything comes up.

 **Steve Rogers:**  "He begins fighting Hydra agents left and right."

 **Tony Stark:**  *He pulls up footage of the Hulk, to make sure he was okay.”

 **Clint:** Hey Cap “He shot some of the agents.” How have you been?

 **Steve Rogers:**  I've been good. A little worn down from dealing with Bucky's recovery.

 **Steve Rogers:**  "Punches another hydra agent unconscious."

 **Clint** : How is that going? “He shot down two of the agents attacking from above.”

 **Natasha** : *She stings abomination whom slammed her into Steve.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Okay, but he is having a lot of nightmares lately and when he wakes up he forgets where he is sometimes. Lets just say I have received a lot of bruises in the past few months.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Hey Natasha. "Helps Natasha up."

 **Clint:** Tsk, sounds bad. *He glares at Skull to his right and Abomination to his left.” That’s shady.

 **Natasha:** Incredibly.

 **Hulk:** Hey, where do you think you are going, Abomination? Hey, Stark do you know how Abomination got out?

 **Tony Stark:**  I already have War Machine armor dealing with that, but something is shady with Skull.

 **Steve Rogers:**  What are your suspicions, Stark?

 **Tony Stark:**  You know how I told you he stole my armor?

 **Steve Rogers:**  Yeah?

 **Clint:** Wait, he stole your armor? No fair, I've always wanted to do that. I'll need to ask him how he did that.... muttering to himself.

 **Tony Stark:**  Clint you’re a moron. Well the armor he took is different. It has some Asgardian technology to it.

 **Thor:** How dare he steal from my planet. My devious brother must have some part in the Red Skull's schemes.

 **Tony Stark:**  To bad I have Loki locked up currently.

 **Natasha:** You might want to double check. Remember Stark, he can create illusions.

 **Tony Stark:**  He is current… “He looked next to him at the now free Loki.”

 **Loki:** Hello, man of Iron. "He quickly shoots Tony with his scepter/mind stone."

 **Thor:** "He flies through the window and begins to fight Loki."

 **Tony Stark:**  “He falls to the ground. Then blinking his eyes, he begins to be controlled by Loki.”

  **Natasha** : “She took out the hydra agents behind Cap.”

  **Thor:** "Continues to fight Loki." Son of Stark has fallen...

 **Steve Rogers:**  Jarvis, this might be a good time to call Rhodey. Also, how many suits are currently in good condition?

 **JARVIS:** I took the liberty of calling him already. And I’ve sent out three suits.

 **Clint** : "He shoots a group of hydra agents." Hey, send one of those suits to me. I need a lift to the tower, so I can put an arrow in Loki's eye. He still has to pay for what he did to me three years ago.

 **Tony Stark:**  Jarvis shut down. “Tony smirks softly.”

 **JARVIS** : As you wish Master Stark. “He shut down, then.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  No Jarvis! Do not shut down. I repeat do not shut down! Thor, can you knock out Tony?

 **Tony Stark:**  “He ducked a hit from Thor.” Tsk tacky for you to try to knock me out, Cap.

 **Thor** : "He throws the Mjolnir at Stark, instantly knocking him out." He's unconscious.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Okay, good work Thor. Now where is Loki?

  **Thor:** "He looks around and finds that Loki has disappeared." Captain, he has vanished.

 **Sam:** “He lands behind Cap.” That does look not good. Fill me in on what’s going on.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He wakes up slowly, and then stabs Thor with a vial of something.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Hey Sam. Red Skull, Abomination, and Loki all are working together. We are still not sure what they are up to, but it’s defiantly something shady.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Thor, are you still there?

 **Tony Stark:**  He’s out Cap “He smirks softly.”

 **Sam** : And I’m assuming someone is compromised.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Natasha, I thought you said that Cognitive recalibration helped Clint wake up from the mind Control. Yes, Sam. Unfortunately, Loki used the mind stone to mind control Tony.

 **Sam** : Wait, but didn't Loki try to do that to him during the Battle of New York and failed because of Tony's arc reactor.

 **Natasha** : It did, and he recently got it taken out. Right, Bruce?

 **Steve Rogers:**  No, apparently you heard wrong. We just had to replace his Badassium the other day, after his accident.

 **Nat:** Isn’t it just there for effect now?

 **Steve Rogers:**  Not sure. Bruce do you know the answer?

 **Bruce** : It is actually.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Okay, then that's how Loki mind controlled Tony. However, that still doesn't explain how knocking him out did not wake him up from Loki's control.

 **Nat** : I had to knock Clint out in order to tie him up before I could even start to use the cognitive recalibration.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Okay, Hulk go find Tony and knock him out. Natasha go with him and do cognitive recalibration on him. Everybody else continue fighting the hydra agents.

 **Nat:** I always get the hard jobs. “She tsked.” Lets go Hulk.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He looks at Loki.” What are we doing?

**_"All of a sudden a mysterious shooter starts shooting at the hydra agents."_ **

**Sam** : Who is that?

 **Nat** : Yeah who.

 **Steve Rogers:**  I'm not sure. Clint do you have a visual on the shooter?

 **Clint** : “He looks up.”

 **Sam** : I think it’s Bucky.

 **Clint** : It is Bucky and he brought Carol. Joy.

 **Carol** : Oh shut up, Clint. At least you have backup.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Captain Marvel?

 **Carol** : That would be me Cap.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Hey, nice to meet you. Glad you are here. Natasha, what is the status in finding Tony?

 **Nat** : He is no longer in the tower.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Just, great. That's all we need. Natasha figure out how to get Jarvis rebooted, and then try to track Tony.

 **Clint** : Hey Bucky, I bet I can shoot more hydra agents than you.

 **Bucky** : I bet you could. “He rolled his eyes.”

 **Nat** : “She calls Pepper and Rhodey.”

 **Clint:** "He winks at Bucky, as he shoots an exploding arrow towards a group of agents."

 **Nat** : Pepper, how do you reboot Jarvis?

 **Bucky** : “He shot all the ones behind Clint and Cap with ease.”

 **Carol:** Fill me in Steve.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Stop playing around. "He glares at Clint and Bucky."

 **Steve Rogers:**  Loki, Red Skull, and Abomination have teamed up to do something that we are not clear about. Loki has mind controlled Tony, using the mind stone, and Tony has gone missing. Natasha is trying to find him along with the Hulk.

 **Carol** : “She sighs.” Lovely. *She easily captures Abomination.” Okay now we just have Skull and Loki. Clint don’t you have a special arrow to take down armor?

 **Clint** : I do. Thanks for reminding me, Carol. "He winks at her, and then runs off to find the Red Skull."

 **Steve Rogers:**  What is the status on Jarvis, Natasha?

 **Carol:** remind me to punch him in the face.

 **Nat** : JARVIS is rebooting right now.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Finally, some good news.

 **Bucky** : I will join you in the endeavor, Carol.

 **Nat** : Thor is like a dead heap right here, but he is alive. “She pokes him with her boot.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Okay, once Jarvis has rebooted. Tell him to find Stark and tell him that it's Captain's order and that Stark has been compromised.

 **Carol** : Both captains’ orders.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Hulk, transform back into Banner and start figuring out what is wrong with Thor.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Clint, what is the status in finding Red Skull or Loki?

 **Tony Stark:**  Oh Clint is in a fun situation. *He watches Loki as he holds Clint over the edge of a building.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Tony, snap out of it.

Nat: Alright Bruce, help me? *She looks at him.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Carol, go save Clint before it’s too late.

 **Carol:** Of course. “She flies in towards Clint’s direction.”

 **Tony Stark:**  Why should I Steve? “He rolls his eyes.” I can see the world a lot clearer now.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Because Loki is evil and wants to destroy the world. "He turns off his com with Tony." Natasha, Tony is by the bridge on Broadway.

 **Nat:** How are you doing Clint?

 **Carol** : “She catches him as he is thrown off the bridge.”

 **Clint** : I'm okay now, thanks to Carol. Man, I almost saw my life flash through my eyes.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Thank goodness, your okay Clint.

 **Carol** : Permission to throw Tony off the bridge?

 **Nat:** ... I for one am for that idea."

 **Steve Rogers:**  No!!! I know that Tony is extremely annoying and that many days I want to strangle him; however, he is still a valuable member to the team. No man gets left behind. Understood!!

 **Steve Rogers:**  Jarvis are you back online?

 **JARVIS** : Just finished rebooting. Master Stark get your sorry butt back on the right side.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He glares at Carol then at Loki, thinking a moment.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Jarvis is possible that one of the suits could come knock out Stark, so that we can recalibrate him?

 **Steve Rogers:**  Carol and Clint what is your status?

 **Steve Rogers:**  Natasha and Bruce what is your status?

 **Steve Rogers:**  Bucky and Sam what is your status?

 **Bucky** : Still alive Stevie.

 **Nat:** waking up Thor still.

 **Carol** : I could always punch him.

 **JARVIS** : Please do not do that, he already has a concussion.

 **Steve Rogers:**  That’s good to hear Bucky. Jarvis it's the only way. Carol, do it. Then fly him back to the tower, so we can tie him up. Clint, capture Loki, and you have my permission to shoot an arrow in his eye.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Natasha tell me when Thor wakes up.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Bruce, do you know what is wrong with Thor?

 **Bruce** : We made this thing to knock him out. Looks like it worked.

 **Nat:** Will do.

 **Clint** : Doesn’t look like it’s going to work.

 **Tony Stark:**   *He punches Loki in the jaw knocking him into a car.” You really should have more faith in me.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Tony, your back. Thank Goodness.

 **Steve Rogers:**  How did you break through Loki's mind control?

 **Tony Stark:**  Been around the whole time actually Steve. I am a rad faker, huh.

 **Bruce:** Tony. You’re amazing.

 **Steve Rogers:**  You deserve an Oscar, Tony. Is Loki knocked out?

 **Steve Rogers:**  Why did you make a chemical to knock out Thor?

 **Tony Stark:**  I need one just a bad as Leonardo DiCaprio. Why not? And this might be hard- “He gets kicked off the bridge by Loki harshly.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Tony, are you alright? I just heard a loud sound over the com. Clint is Tony alright?

 **Clint** :...Uh...

 **Tony Stark:**  “He yelps loudly as he lands in one of his suits.” Freaking crap, ow.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Are you okay Stark?

 **Tony Stark:**  Fan-freaking-tastic “He whimpers and yelps as he fell into the water, while wearing his suit.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Clint what is your status with capturing Loki?

 **Steve Rogers:**  Natasha, has Thor waken up yet?

 **Nat** : He is waking now.

 **Clint** : Not going to be easy.

 **Carol** : “She is out of it on the bridge.”

 **Tony Stark:**  “He shoots out of the water.” Why am I the only human of the group?

 **Steve Rogers:**  Clint and Natasha are humans, Stark.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Sam is as well.

**_A little later, they managed to get everything under control and were now meeting back up at the tower._ **

**Tony Stark:**  That was not fun. Never again.

 **Sam** : I agree, that was horrible. "He stretches his aching bones and sighs because his wings got broken again."

Thor: I'm sorry for my brother's actions. He is becoming more and more like his birth father.

 **Tony Stark:**  I don’t know about that, his eyes were blue. Aren’t your brother’s eyes normally green?

 **Thor** : I'll promise I will take him back with me, and he will face Odin's wrath.

 **Thor** **:** Yes, they are usually green. Nice observation, man of iron. Come with me to Loki's cell, we must get to the bottom of this.

 **Tony Stark:**  I can hardly move without being in pain, Thor. “He whimpers.”

 **Nat** : The great tony stark in pain?

 **Thor** : Then, Son of Banner and Captain come with me to Loki's cell.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Somebody might want to call Dr. Strange. He might know what is going on?

 **Tony Stark:**  I got it *He mutters weakly and calls him.” Yo, Strange.

 **Dr. Strange** : What is it Stark?

 **Dr** **.** **Strange** : I'm in the middle of an important engagement.

 **Tony Stark:**  Which would be what? Cause we need you to look at Loki.

 **Dr. Strange** **:** I'm currently fighting Dr. Doom.

 **Tony Stark:**  Seriously? Need back up Strange? *He asks, groaning softly.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  "Sighs." Carol and Sam go help Dr. Strange.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Stark or Thor do you know anybody else that might know about magic or mind control?

 **Tony Stark:**  I got this. “He stands up slowly.” All right lets go “He stands slowly, ignoring his pain, trying to make it easier for him to walk in his suit.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Are you sure that you should be getting up Stark? You are in pretty bad condition.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He was about to talk to them but dashed to the bathroom to throw up.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Somebody go after Tony to make sure he is all right?

 **Nat** : “She looks at Cap.” You.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Thor do you know anybody that knows about magic and mind control? Sam and Carol, what is your status?

 **Steve Rogers:**  Fine. Why do I always end up having to help Tony?

 **Sam** : Just finished fighting Doom with Strange.

 **Nat** : Because he trusts you.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Good. Sam come back here to the tower with Dr. Strange.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Right, Natasha. He totally trusts me.

 **Sam** : Brining him back now.

 **Nat** : You would be surprised. He considers you a best friend.

 **Sam** : Carol went home by the way.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He continues to throw up, still gasping in pain.” Ugh freaking crap, why! “He felt hung-over, but definitely wasn’t.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Why did Carol go home? We still need her.

 **Steve Rogers:**  "He walks into the bathroom, to find Tony passed out in his vomit." Oh, crap. Bruce, come in here. Tony has passed out.

 **Bruce** : “He walks in.” And we are all sure he isn’t hung-over?

 **Sam** : She said she needed to deal with Star-Lord.

 **Bucky** : Star... who?

 **Tony Stark:**  “He gasps softly, as he moaned due to his headache.”

 **Sam** : Peter Quill.

 **Bucky** : I still don't know who that is?

 **Sam** : You don’t need to, trust me.

 **Tony Stark:**  Ugh hell why does it feel like I have a hangover.

 **Bruce** : “He looks at Steve.” He isn’t?

 **Steve Rogers:**  I'm not sure. Bruce, test his alcohol level.

 **Bucky** : Why? Is he bad?

 **Sam** : Lovely guy, just obnoxious at times.

 **Bucky** : So like Tony?

 **Tony Stark:**  I swear for once I am not hung-over, dammit. “He yelled.” Can you guys just shut up? “Rubbing his head.”

 **Bruce** : “He tests his alcohol level.”

 **Sam** : “He lands and walks in with Strange.” Not at all.

 **Bucky** : Less obnoxious than Stark or more obnoxious?

 **Steve Rogers:**  Welcome back Sam. And Dr. Strange thanks for coming.

 **Sam** : More human.

 **Clint** : Hey Strange. “He watches him quietly.” Stark is busy throwing up.

 **Bucky** : Got it.

 **Tony Stark:**  I’m not throwing up anymore thank goodness. “He rolls his eyes, walking out of the bathroom.”

 **Bruce** : He isn’t hung over.

 **Tony Stark:**  I freaking told you.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Bruce, do more tests on him.

 **Steve Rogers:**  We need to figure out why he was throwing up.

 **Bucky** : What group does Star Lord fight for?

 **Steve Rogers:**  Dr. Strange go with Thor and Banner to figure out what’s wrong with Loki?

 **Bruce** : *He takes Strange out of the room with Thor*

 **Nat** : Guardians of the Galaxy.

 **Tony Stark:**  Could be finally dying.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Not on my watch Stark. "Catches Tony as he passes out."

 **Steve Rogers:**  Jarvis analyze Stark for any abnormalities.

 **JARVIS** : Already doing so.

 **JARVIS** : A side effect of his current concussion.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Okay, so he is not dying? That is a relief.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Thor what is your status?

 **JARVIS** : Not more than usual.

 **Thor** : It seems someone else has been controlling my brother.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Dr. Strange, do you know who is might be?

 **Strange** : I have no idea.

 **Thor** : We are letting him go.

 **Loki** : “He disappears.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Thor, why did you just let him go?

 **Tony Stark:**  Ugh, okay so can everyone leave my tower, aside from Bruce and Steve whom actually live here?

 **Steve Rogers:**  Dr. Strange has Thor been compromised?

 **Steve Rogers:**  Jarvis do you know whom might be controlling Loki?

 **Strange** : No, but I can understand where Stark is coming from.

**_-About a week later-_ **

**Tony Stark:**  So I figured out who is controlling Loki...

 **Steve Rogers:**  Who?

 **Tony Stark:**  Well I have an idea anyways, Rogers. “He lays in bed due to his messed up ribs and arm.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Tell us.

 **Tony Stark:**  Thanos!

 **Bruce** ; Thanos?

Bucky: Who is Thanos???

 **Bruce** : The Mad Titan, Thanos!

 **Tony Stark:**  Extremely scary alien dude. *He hands him a file on him.” We don’t know much on him.

 **Bucky** : On a scale from 1 to 10, how bad is he?

 **Bruce** : 11.

 **Bruce** : He is also a member of The Cabal.

 **Clint** : Why is it always aliens? Why couldn't it be an evil elf or Santa Claus or something?

 **Steve Rogers:**  What is the Cabal?

 **Tony Stark:**  Because when would we ever have to fight an evil Santa Clint?

 **Bruce** : The Cabal is a group of villains that work together to kill us.

 **Clint** : Hey Stark, don't bash Evil Santa. He is epic.

 **Tony Stark:**  When have we ever fought an evil Santa?

 **Steve Rogers:**  Great, another group like the Masters of Evil.

 **Clint** : We have never fought an evil Santa, but it would be epic if we did.

 **Tony Stark:**  That’s pretty much, who The Cabal is, Steve.

 **Nat** : No it wouldn’t.

 **Clint** : Come on Natasha, just admit it. Evil Santa would be amazing.

 **Nat** : NO! It wouldn’t.

 **Sam** : That's it Clint. I'm calling Santa and putting you on the naughty list.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Guys, shut up. Evil Santa does not exist, and we have more dire circumstances right now. Loki is out there being mind control by Thanos and is leading a team that could be the end of us. Jarvis call every superhero throughout the universe. Avengers, it’s time to assemble.

 **Tony Stark:**  Can we not. Can we just use our usual few, because we are all already here. “He stood up slowly and fell on his face.” Ow!

 **Steve Rogers:**  No, Stark. We need everybody. Besides, you are out of the field because of your injuries. Thanos is the most powerful being in the universe, and with The Cabal, he might prove to be unstoppable. Jarvis, give us a headcount on who all is apart of The Cabal.

 **JARVIS** : Thanos is not yet a problem, I am happy so say. But we have MODOK, The Red Skull, Loki, Attuma, Hyperion, and Dracula.

 **Steve Rogers:**  How about Dr. Doom?

 **JARVIS** : No actually he is an enemy of The Cabal as well.

 **Steve Rogers:**  How is Thanos not a problem, Jarvis? He was mind-controlling Loki and still is I assume?

 **JARVIS** : Thanos’ location is unknown at the moment, so you have to wait for him to come after you.

 **Tony Stark:**  Steve trust me, we can’t mess with him at this moment. “He growls softly.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Just great. We don't know when he will attack.

 **Tony Stark:**  We have Iron Man, Captain America, Hulk, Thor, Falcon Black Widow, Hawkeye, Scarlett Witch, Vision, QuickSilver, and The Winter Soldier. Considering who we are up against, we should be okay. And I can call for more backup should it be needed.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Jarvis, how about Galactus and Magneto? What is their status?

 **Steve Rogers:**  And Ultron?

 **Steve Rogers:**  Okay guys, this might be the hardest fight he have ever fought, but we can do it. We are Earth's Mightiest Heroes, and if we work together as a team, we can defeat The Cabal once and for all. And rid the world of these horrible monsters. Everybody gear up and meet back in the meeting room in fifteen minutes. Jarvis where are The Cabal currently?

 **JARVIS** : Currently on the Brooklyn bridge, waiting.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He mutters quietly watching everyone suit up.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  How about Ultron, Magneto, and Galactus, Jarvis?

 **JARVIS** : Galactus is not in this realm at the moment. Magneto is an enemy of The Cabal as well.

 **Tony Stark:**  I turned off Ultron, Cap.

 **Steve Rogers:**  "He runs to his room, suits up, picks up his shield, and runs back to the meeting room."

 **Steve Rogers:**  Okay, thanks Jarvis.

 **Sam** : I wonder why some of our villains are enemies of our other villains?

 **Steve Rogers:**  Is everybody here?

 **Tony Stark:**  *He is the last person to walk in.* Yeah we are good. *He suits up.* Sam, Magneto just avoids contact as much as possible. And Doctor Doom has his own nation to watch: small but something.

 **Sam** : Okay, makes since.

 **Bruce** : Tony, are you sure you are in good enough condition to be fighting? You are still recovering from last weeks fight.

 **Tony Stark:**  I’m fine Bruce, you might know better because you are my doctor, but still I’m fine.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Jarvis are they still on the Brooklyn Bridge?

 **JARVIS** : They are.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Is Loki still being mind controlled?

 **JARVIS** : He is.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Okay, here is the plan. Tony, Sam, Vision, and Thor, will be our sky patrol, fighting the Cabal team members that can fly. Thor, also try to take your brother out. We need to recalibrate him. Clint, I want you to be watching their six. Scarlett Witch, Quicksilver, Widow, and I will be ground patrol, fighting any of the Cabal enemies that can't fly. Bucky, you will watch our six. And Hulk, smash.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Also guys be careful with Dracula, especially Widow and Scarlett Witch. He tends to want to the bite the females first.

 **Tony Stark:**  Hulk and Thor should fight Attuma Steve! *He looks at him.*

 **Steve Rogers:**  Why do you think that Stark?

 **Tony Stark:**  Attuma is water.

 **Tony Stark:**  He literally fights in the water.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Okay, I agree with you. Thor and Hulk will fight Attuma.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Quicksilver, if they look like they need help. Go help them.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He sighs in relief.” Thank you for listening to me for once.

 **JARVIS** : “He appears as his semi human looking self on the screen.” Be careful Avengers.

 **Sam** : Guys, why does Jarvis actually have a body now?

 **Tony Stark:**  I’ve been working on it lately. Don’t mind it, I like looking at a real face. Can you blame me?

 **Sam** : Okay, as long as he doesn't turn evil, I'm okay with it.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Okay on that note, Avengers lets win this battle.

 **Tony Stark:**  “Everyone takes off in their respective areas.”

 **Tony Stark:**  “He blinks, hearing a voice in his head which is Loki’s.” Ugh, what the hell.

 **Loki** : Come on Stark join us. Join us Stark.

Thor: "Finds Loki and begins fighting him."

 **Steve Rogers:**  Stark, put your special anti mind control earplugs in your ears.

 **Tony Stark:**  I don’t have them with me, Steve. “He growled softly.” This is not my month.

 **Loki** : Oh brother dearest. “He tsked and punches him in the jaw, with his eyes shining bright blue.” Now, now Stark, come join us.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Then go get them, Stark. We can't afford you too go under his control again.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Jarvis be sure that Stark does not go under Loki's control.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Thor, what is your status?

 **Steve Rogers:**  Sam and Vision, what is your status?

 **Steve Rogers:**  Clint, what is your status?

 **Steve Rogers:**  Bucky, what is your status?

 **JARVIS** : Trying best I can Captain.

 **Loki** : “He kicks Thor into the ocean where Attuma is.” There we go. “He smiles.”

 **Vision** : Working on finding the Skull, Captain

 **Tony Stark:**  *He whimpers softly.” Crap! “He nearly crashes from trying to focus.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Thanks, Vision. Jarvis call the Warrior three from Asgard. I think we need them to help fight Loki.

 **JARVIS** : Working on it *He calls them.” Lady Sif, you and your warriors are needed.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Hulk what is your status?

 **Lady Sif** : I'm on my way. Loki is going done.

 **Hulk** : Trying to Smash Attuma is proving to be more difficult then I would like, especially with Thor.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Is Thor okay, Hulk?

 **Tony Stark:**  “He crashes into the ground, landing right near Clint, and then his helmet flies off.”

 **Hulk** : He’s breathing.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Well, that's reassuring.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Jarvis, where are Lady Sif and the warriors?

 **JARVIS** : On their way as we speak. I have lost contact with Master Stark, though.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He looks at Clint.” Aw, crap! You might want to have your Anti Stark arrows ready. Okay?

 **Steve Rogers:**  Does anyone know where Stark is? Jarvis has lost contact with him.

 **Natasha** : Clint, do you have your eyes on him?

 **Clint** : Stark is with me, but he is not doing well. I might need help with him.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He puts his helmet back on, shaking his head a bit, still hearing Loki.”

 **Loki** : Come on Stark and Barton, I know you two want to join me. “He smirks.” Join me guys, you know you want too.

 **Clint** : I will never join you, Loki.

 **Natasha** : “She punches Dracula in the throat harshly.”

 **Loki** : Oh yeah, Barton you think so for now, but the time will come when you will want to join me.

 **Clint** : Yeah, how about never. But I will put an arrow in your eye, if you like?

 **Loki** : tsk “He rolls his eyes.” Sure. “He smirks.” Come on Stark, come to me. I know you want too.

 **Nat** : Clint, I could use some wooden stakes.

 **Sam** : "Picks up some wood stakes (more like sticks) and flies over to Natasha.” Here you go.

 **Nat** : That will work just fine.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He growls, whimpering in pain.” Crap, Loki get the heck out of my head.

 **Loki** : Not yet Stark. “He smiles, softly humming.”

 **Thor** : "He wakes up... looking around, seeing Attuma with Hulk still fighting her. He gets up and begins helping Hulk out."

 **Lady** **Sif** : "She lands on Loki."

 **Loki** : Now, now Sif, are we not friends? “He smiles at her.” Now, now Stark, what to do with you?

 **Tony Stark:**  “He yells loudly.” Ugh, crap! “He crashes into the water, falling flat on his face.”

 **Lady Sif** : We are not friends. "She knocks Loki out."

 **JARVIS** : Might I recommend taking out MODOK before he gets to the tower, Captain?

 **Loki** : “He waves from across the bridge.” Nice try.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Thanks for the heads up Jarvis. Bucky will you come with me and fight Modok.

 **Lady Sif and the Warriors** : "She knocks Loki out again."

 **Bucky** : Heading that way now, Stevie.

Loki: “He waves from atop of the empire state building.”

 **Tony Stark:**  “He gets up slowly, glaring at MODOK, who of course finds him.” Lovely.

 **Lady Sif** : Thor, I need your help. Loki is being a nuisance.

 Thor: Is he?

 **Lady Sif** : Yes, I keep knocking him out, but he keeps getting right back up.

 **Thor** : Sounds like that brother of mine.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Bucky, I need your help over hear. Modok is about to attack Tony.

 **Bucky** : You do know what he attacks right?

 **Steve Rogers:**  Not really.

 **Tony Stark:**  He is a techno path. In other words, I severely need help NOW!

 **Steve Rogers:**  Oh, great. Who would be the best people to fight him, Stark?

 **Tony Stark:**  Probably, AGH, me, you, and Bucky.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Okay, Bucky are you here yet?

 **Bucky** : “He bumps him.” Yep.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Okay, good lets show Modok why you don't mess with boys from Brooklyn and Stark.

 **Tony Stark:**  And Stark? Yes of cause you know, I’m not also from New York.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Sorry, Stark. But you aren't from Brooklyn.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Lady Sif, what is your status on taking out Loki?

 **Tony Stark:**  And How do you know that *He punches MODOK in the face.”

 **Loki** : “He is on the ground in front of them, completely out of it.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Because it's in your biography, Stark?

 **Steve Rogers:**  Hulk, what is your status?

 **Tony Stark:**  I’m from Long Island, Steve. “He kicks MODOK in the face again.”

 **Hulk** : Attuma has been taken care of.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Good. Hulk go see if any other bad guys need to be smashed.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Thor are you okay?

 **MODOK** : *He casually strips Tony of his armor, and Bucky of his arm. He then transports back to the other members of the Cabal who were still fighting, which were him and Skull.”

 **Thor** : I am well now Captain.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Lady Sif, has Loki been taken care of?

 **Sif** : Yes.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He is wheezes and gasps loudly because his arc reactor was gone.” Augh, I can already feel the shrapnel.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Hulk transform back into Banner, Stark is down.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Everybody else who is still able to fight and are not made of metal, follow me. We need to take out Modok and the Skull.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He wheezes more.” What the hell Steve, we need to regroup. What are you doing? “He gasps more, shaking in pain.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  I am regrouping everybody who can still fight, Stark. That doesn't include you. You are in no condition to fight, Stark.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He passes out, then wakes up a couple of days later to just Steve in his room* Ugh, crap! What is going on, where am I? “He pulled the oxygen mask off his face, looking around dazed.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Hey, Stark. You are finally awake.

 **Steve Rogers:**  I was getting worried that you would never wake up from your coma.

 **Tony Stark:**  Coma?

 **Steve Rogers:**  You have been in a coma for the last few days.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He whimpers softly.” Why do I keep waking up like I am hung-over.

 **Steve Rogers:**  That's what a traumatic brain injury does to you, Stark.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Thankfully you are going to be okay.

 **Tony Stark:**  Traumatic brain injury?

 **Steve Rogers:**  Yeah, Modok did a number on you and Bucky.

 **Tony Stark:**  Is Bucky okay? “He asks looking down at his chest and noticing a different arc reactor.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Yeah, he woke up a couple days ago. But he needs a new arm.

 **Steve Rogers:**  It was completely destroyed by Modok. So was my shield.

 **Tony Stark:**  How the hell, “he sits up slowly,” was your shield destroyed?

 **Tony Stark:**  So wait. I get to make a new arm? Sweet.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Modok destroyed it along with your suit and Bucky's arm. He also hit you with shrapnel.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Yes, you get to make a new arm.

 **Pepper** : "She runs into hospital room." Thank goodness you're all right.

 **Pepper** : I was worried sick, when I heard.

 **Pepper** : You have been through quite an ordeal these past couple weeks.

 **Tony Stark:**  Woh, woh, woh, who! Yes I have Pepper, but where have you been? “He blinks, shaking his head again trying to get used to the brightness of the hospital room and also trying to resist the urge to possibly kiss Steve.”

 **Pepper** : I've been in London with Rhodey.

 **Tony Stark:**  You and him?

 **Pepper** : Oh, I know what you are thinking Tony, and no we are not dating. Rhodey needed my help taking out AIM.

 **Tony Stark:**  Oh yeah? “He raises a brow, and remembering that they broke up shortly before she went on her excursion with Rhodey.”

 **Pepper** : After watching you almost die, it made me realize how I can't live without you. I don't care if you think that me being with you will hurt me. Not being with you hurts me even more.

 **Tony Stark:**  *He glances, out of the corner of his eye, at Steve quietly.” You have seen me almost die a few times, and I saw you die.

 **Tony Stark:**  I don’t want to see you die again.

 **Pepper** : You won't, I can promise you that. I don't die easily. Plus with extremis in me, I heal quickly too.

 **Tony Stark:**  Pepper I love you but I just.. I can’t.. “He frowns.”

 **Pepper** : You can't what, Stark?

 **Tony Stark:**  I don’t want to see you get hurt because of me. I’m sorry.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He winces a bit waiting for a bad reaction.”

 **Pepper** : What part of me not getting hurt easily don't you understand? I heal quickly, and I can't die anymore. While in London, I got injected with the eternal serum, which allows me to live as long as I want to. The only thing that can kill me now is if I drink the anti - eternal serum, which I currently have on my person.

 **Tony Stark:**  I know Pepper but.. “He looks at Steve, giving him a help me sort of face.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Sorry, I can't help you with this pal. You're on your own.

 **Pepper** : Do you love someone else, Stark? Is that it?

 **Tony Stark:**  It is...

 **Tony Stark:**  -=[]

 **Pepper** : Who do you love?

 **Tony Stark:**  I uh.. He I uh... “He stammers nervously.”

 **Pepper** : Dammit, Stark tell me. "Her body starts glowing."

 **Tony Stark:**  “He gulps.” STEVEROGERS!

 **Steve Rogers:**  Me? You are in love with me?

 **Pepper** : "Grabs the anti-eternal serum and drinks it. Instantly dying."

 **Tony Stark:**  ......'

 **Steve Rogers:**  Listen, Stark I'm flattered in all, but I'm straight. Besides if I did go that way, which I'm not saying I do, I would be with Bucky. "Blushes"

 **Steve Rogers:**  Sorry, Stark. "He gives him a look of pity."

 **Tony Stark:**  I honestly have nothing else to say. “He blinks.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  Thanks.... I think... "He awkwardly stares at the ground."

 **Steve Rogers:**  I'll go tell the others that you have finally waken up. "He walks out of the room."

**_"Everybody then crowds into Starks room."_ **

Bruce: What's wrong with Pepper?

 **Tony Stark:**  I guess she committed suicide???

 **Tony Stark:**  I tried to tell her I didn’t want to see her?

 **Tony Stark:**  And I am not even gonna say what happened during that *He glares at Steve in a that stays between us kind of way.”

 **Rhodey** : Why would you do that, Stark? She was a great girl. "He shakes his head in disappointment."

 **Steve Rogers:**  "He looks at Stark and nods."

 **Tony Stark:**  I loved her. Don’t get me wrong, I just didn’t want to date her.

 **Rhodey** : Why, Stark? You keep telling me how much you love her and that you were going to marry her in the distance future.

 **Tony Stark:**  I wanted a break?

 **Tony Stark:**  “He mutters softly.” I wanted to see someone else for a change.

 **Rhodey** : Who?

 **Rhodey** : Please say you are not going back to your womanizer ways, Stark.

 **Tony Stark:**  I don’t know. But no, I’m not going back to that Rhodey. “He kind of wanted to run out of embarrassment.”

 **JARVIS** : “He messages to Tony.” Your legs do work, if you need to run.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He reads the text and sighs in relief, getting up slowly and stretching.”

 **Rhodey** : Where are you going, Stark? You are in no condition to walk or even get out of bed. For goodness sakes, Tony think about your well being for once in your life. Get back in that bed right now, Anthony Howard Stark.

 **Rhodey** **:** I'm sorry if you think I'm acting like a mother hen. I just can't watch you kill yourself again. Listen, you don't have to tell me now who you are in love with. Look, I get it. You don't want everybody to know. However, tell me later when it’s just me and you.

 **Tony Stark:**  That’s not even my middle name. “He threw his arms in the air.” What is with you all comparing me too Howard? “He glares a bit.” Seriously I am not my father.

 **Clint** : I want to know who this person is that is causing Stark to get so worked up?

 **Tony Stark:**  I DONT HAVE A CRUSH ON ANYONE HOLY CRAP.

 **Natasha** : I know. The last time I saw him this worked up, was when he was trying to hit on me.

 **Natasha** : Come on Stark, who do you love? It's not me, right? Because, I'm with Clint.

 **Tony Stark:**  I love a man. Now get over it.

 **Tony Stark:**  There we go, and no its not Clint or you, Rhodey.

 **Tony Stark:**  Now drop the freaking subject.

 **Natasha** : Wait your, gay. Wow I never saw that coming.

 **Bucky** : I never thought I would see the day that a Stark loves men.

 **Steve Rogers:**  "He slips out of the room."

 **Clint** : I'm guessing its Thor, than?

 **Tony Stark:**  “He throws his arms in the air and leaves the room rather quickly, slipping out when everyone was bickering with each other.” Kill me now. “He mutters softly.”

 **JARVIS** : “He puts a hologram of Tony in Tony’s place, so they wouldn’t know he left the room.”

 **Bruce** : "Being the smart guy that he is, he notices right away that Tony has left the room and that he is using a hologram." Guys, Stark left the room.

 **Clint** : No, he hasn't. He's sitting on the bed.

 **Bruce** : That's a hologram of him.

 **Clint** : "He walks over to fake Stark and puts his hand through it." You’re right. It’s a hologram. Dammit, Stark, not again!

 **Tony Stark:**  “He ends up going to the same hiding spot as Steve.” Why is the world conspiring against me?

 **Tony Stark:**  Steve, I am literally sorry.

 **Steve Rogers:**  It's okay, Stark. You can't help it. The heart wants what is wants.

 **Steve Rogers:**  I hope this doesn't ruin our friendship.

 **Tony Stark:**  Seriously, It doesn’t.

 **Tony Stark:**  I would love to go hide at my house where I have all of the same medical supplies.

 **Tony Stark:**  Please.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Man, if Howard were here right now, he would be above himself with the irony that his son loves the same person that he loved.

 **Steve Rogers:**  But didn't your house get blown up, Stark?

 **Tony Stark:**  So you knew my Dad was pretty freaking gay for you?

 **Tony Stark:**  Also good point lets hide in the tower then.

 **Tony Stark:**  Or my beach house in Malibu

 **Steve Rogers:**  Yeah, it was pretty obvious. Especially when Peggy told me that Howard never stopped looking for me. He even let a Russian mind doctor hypnotize him into thinking that he was close to finding me, when really he was about to let out a poisonous gas over Manhattan that would cause everybody to go into psychosis and kill each other. Luckily, Peggy was able to snap him out of it.

 **Steve Rogers:**  But your beach house in Malibu was the house that got blown up by AIM.

 **Tony Stark:**  Crap, your right. To the tower then

 **Tony Stark:**  Also Yeah, Jarvis told me that story how he almost had to shoot him down.

 **Tony Stark:**  How does one mess up so badly they make a gas that kills people. And you agree then, my dad was really freaking gay? “He sighs in relief.” No one believed me.

 **Steve Rogers:**  I'm not sure. Apparently he created it to help soldiers go through the pain when going through amputation or something like that.

 **Tony Stark:**  Hospitals make me ramble and give me anxiety if you can’t tell.

 **Tony Stark:**  “He is gasping a bit.”

 **Steve Rogers:**  I can tell. "He lets Stark lean on him as they walk to the tower."

 **Jarvis** : Welcome, back Stark.

 **Tony Stark:**  Thanks J. Set up my room with the IVs and stuff that I apparently need.

 **Jarvis** : Will do, sir. I have alerted every one that you are safe.

 **Tony Stark:**  Just do not tell them where I am and thank you, Steve.

 **Tony Stark:**  *He hugs his friend.” Ugh, ow! Did I crash or something and I don’t remember it?

 **Steve Rogers:**  Your welcome, Stark. You had a new arc reactor put in you.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Lets get you in bed. "He walks Stark to the bed, helps him lay down, and then tucks him in." I'll let Banner deal with the machines later because I'm not qualified. "Then he kisses Stark's cheek, turns out the lights, and walks out of the room."

 **Tony Stark:**  “He blushes deeply, blinking.” He kissed me J. Did you see that?

 **Jarvis** : I did, sir.

**_Steve Rogers left the conversation_ **

**_Tony Stark left the conversation._ **

 


	12. Tony and Steve Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve tries to comfort Tony and begs Tony to get help.

**Steve Rogers:**  Hello, Stark.

 **Tony Stark:**  *He was asleep at his desk snoring quietly*

 **Steve Rogers:**  "He goes over to Stark and rubs his back, to wake him up."

 **Tony Stark:**  *he snored quietly still shaking a bit* Get away from me. *He muttered in his sleep* leave her alone.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Tony, wake up. You are having a nightmare.

 **Tony Stark:**  *he snored still shaking a bit with anxiety* Leave them alone. They did nothing to you.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Come on Stark, Pepper is in trouble. Wake up! "He begins shaking him, even more."

 **Tony Stark:**  *he jumped up immediately* Pepper?

 **Steve Rogers:**  She is ok, Stark. I just said that to get you to wake up.

 **Tony Stark:**  Ugh. Steve I have been trying to sleep more. I was on a role got to one whole hour this week.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Sorry, Stark. You were having a nightmare.

 **Tony Stark:**  *he sighed* Of course I was. What’s up, Cap?

 **Steve Rogers:**  I just can to check on you. Jarvis told me that your pulse was rising.

 **Steve Rogers:**  And I was worried.

 **Tony Stark:**  *he sighed* Yeah no surprise there.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Why haven't you been sleeping, anyway?

 **Tony Stark:**  Just bad dreams.

 **Steve Rogers:**  Do you want to talk about it?

 **Tony Stark:**  Mostly Loki, the wormhole, New York, Ultron, and Pepper nearly dying.

 **Tony Stark:**  *he frowns*

 **Steve Rogers:**  Have you told anybody about them?

 **Tony Stark:**  I’ve been telling Bruce.

 **Tony Stark:**  He’s a good listener

 **Steve Rogers:**  I meant a therapist, Stark.

 **Tony Stark:**  Bruce /is/ my therapist

 **Steve Rogers:**  He is not a real therapist, Stark. Besides he told me he was done listening to your crap.

 **Steve Rogers:**  His words, not mine.

 **Tony Stark:**  Seriously why?

 **Steve Rogers:**  He said "I don't have the patience for this. I feel like the other guy is going to come out and hurt Tony."

 **Tony Stark:**  Seriously?

 **Tony Stark:**  By the way I helped him with the whole the other guy situation.

 **Steve Rogers:**  He said "Its more the other guy, that loses his patience, then him."

 **Steve Rogers:**  He would love to hear and work out your problems; it’s just the other guy who doesn't

 **Tony Stark:**  I usually give him a good hug when he looks bad, and he gets a bit better.

 **Steve Rogers:**  He says that he can't risk it. He doesn't want the other guy to hurt you.

 **Tony Stark:**  *he sighed* So I’ve seen. I don’t think a therapist would be able to deal with me.

 **Steve Rogers:**  A therapist is helping Bucky.

 **Tony Stark:**  Yeah. But that’s Bucky.

 **Tony Stark:**  You’ve heard me rant.

 **Steve Rogers:**  So, I bet there are therapists that can deal with your rants, Stark. "He gives him a glare."

 **Steve Rogers:**  Besides, I rant all the time to Sam.

 **Tony Stark:**  Sam is not a therapist.

 **Tony Stark:**  He told me, you rant to him about me. A lot.

 **Steve Rogers:**  "Blushes." Maybe.

 **Tony Stark:**  He told me it sounds like you love me almost.

 **Tony Stark:**  I’m flattered.

 **Steve Rogers:**  "Blushes."

 **Tony Stark:**  *he smiled winking at him*

 **Steve Rogers:**  Enough about me. This is about you. You need to talk to a real therapist. Trust me, it really helps.

 **Tony Stark:**  *he muttered* Okay

 **Tony Stark:**  So my dad didn’t hug me enough when I was little.

 **Tony Stark:**  He also ignored me.

 **Tony Stark:**  Steeeeeveee *he whined*

 **Steve Rogers:**  Howard was not the man I thought he was.

 **Tony Stark:**  No he really wasn’t.

 **Tony Stark:**  He was there sometimes and when he was, he wasn’t a very good dad. He was okay but not good. *He frowned*

 **Tony Stark:**  I was raised by my butler, Steve! My butler!

 **Steve:** I’m sorry, Stark. “Gives him a hug.”


End file.
